Peep Creep

Peep Me explores peep’s implications on entertainment, 

society, 

sex, 

politics, 

and everyday life, 

through the humorous 

– and painfully personal – 

journey of alternative culture guru Hal Niedzviecki, 

as he researches his upcoming book Peep Culture.  

This documentary follows Hal’s journey, asking: 

What is the price of peep for Hal, 

and for all of us.

For Chocolate Box Entertainment (click here)  

For the Hal's and the producers' blogs (click here) 

They're coming.

Two producer/directors, a camera person and Hal are coming Monday, November 9th and Tuesday November 10th to film my segment of the documentary "Peep Me" a follow up to Hal's book The Peep Diaries.

I'm in the book.

I knew I was in the book when it came out last May.

I didn't buy it.

For some reason I thought it would just be a reprint of the article he wrote for Playboy (click here).

It's similar but not the same.

How do I know?

Because I finally ordered the book from Amazon.

It arrived yesterday.

Can I tell you what a THRILL it is to look yourself up in the index of a book??

It's a thrill.

Did the thrill wear off a bit when I read what he wrote about me?

A bit.

The thrill didn't wear off because I'm terribly insulted by what he wrote. I'm only slightly insulted.

The thrill wore off because this is work for me.

I have to think and write about all this.

I have to make sense of Hal's fascination with my present self and my projected future self.

I have to blog about it (I'd rather be talking about cooking kosher meat in my crock pot).

Hal's a critic, not a dreamer.

He's pessimistic in the name of realism (I thought he studied philosophy.

Doesn't he know that reality is subjective??).

Hal writes about his interview with me..."I ask her if maybe she isn't deluding herself a bit. After all, there's a big difference between being encouraged by a small group of ardent readers and believing you're destined for fame. ... It's as if she's already "made it" and is now practiced at encouraging her face-less fan base to dream big like she once did." Page 54

That's right, Hal.

I am encouraging my fan base to dream big like I once did and still do.

DREAM BIG, fanbase!!!

I AM practiced at projecting myself into the future.

Hal notes that my present self is at odds with my projected future self.

Not sure "at odds" is the right way to look at it.

When the farmer plants his crops is he at odds with his future harvest?

Hal notes that I want to be "hot", become a  motivational guru and land myself a seat on Oprah

when in 2006 I was too embarrassed to leave the house.

He's right but.....and everyone loves a big BUTTT...

I DID LEAVE THE HOUSE in 2006.

Sure, I was embarrassed by my size but it didn't stop me.

I left the house BOLDLY.

At over 400 pounds I waddled my ass up in front of rooms, up on stages, up to microphones and up in front of audiences.

For instance, in the Fall of 2006 I staged a full day program at MSU for Suicide Prevention Awareness that culminated in a film premiere. (click here and scroll three quarters of the way down the page to Nov 2) that featured me, up on stage Oprah-style, interviewing mental health professionals, professors, colleagues and the film producer (and yes I have it all recoreded on mini disc).

That's pretty high profile for a 400 pound blogger, eh?

I lectured,

conducted workshops

and taught throughout my

obesity, immobility and depression.

I didn't hide out.

I wanted to but I didn't.

Hal claims that my projected future self is at odds with my present self noting that I am only a part time lecturer who needs health insurance and full time work.

Keep in mind he interviewed me back in 2007.

I am now carrying a full-time teaching load, conduct a weekly workshop on campus (interfaith dialog)

and still push on-out into the world looking to better myself, projecting all kinds of success for myself and the people around me.

Maybe I expected things to happen more quickly for me but they are happening.

I'll be self-publishing my book (blog highlights of my recovery) before the new year.

Hal has something to say about that, too.

He asks why would anyone pay for something that's free online?

Why?

Because who the hell could slog through 3 and a half years of this blog to get to the meat of the story?

It's too much.

I wrote this darn thing and even I feel it's a meghilla.

Someone looking for a book-length story on one woman's experience with mutliple weight loss surgeries isn't going to sit in front of their computer screen till their ass hurts just to find out how it worked for me.

It's time to make a book.

Since I'd rather earn $4 per book and have ultimate control over it, I'm publishing it myself through LuLu.com.

Of course Hal has been published mutliple times.

I can't imagine he looks kindly on self-publishing.

But would I let one naysayer change my heart when it comes to my dreams and plans?

No way.

The attention is fun.

The skepticism motivates me to prove him wrong.

His lack of compassion is a bit disturbing (click here for the video where he misses the point of my discussion of self-mutilation  and instead focusses on my body fat).

So, this is the guy who's coming to interview me on camera.

Good thing it's not "his" movie.

The documentary belongs to Sally Blake and Jeanette Loakam

and they don't always agree with Hal's take on Peep Culture -

that some things are better left unsaid, that we're trading our privacy because we're so desperate to connect to others by letting them watch us online or on TV - they're filmmakers after all.

Peep is life for a documentary film team.

They're also more optimisitc than Hal.

I have one week to get my apartment film-ready.

One week til Hal the critic arrives.

One week til the cameras roll.

*Lisa's Video Pick of the Day*

You Tube is down for maintenace.

I'll have to put one up later!