Wednesday, May 20, 2015

And so it ends

*New blog coming soon. Will post the link asap!

I started this blog
in the summer of 2006.

I talked and talked and talked about publishing a book from it. Now it's a reality. Amazon and Kindle are now working on converting the files into a paperback and an E-book. I'll make an announcement when it actually goes live on sale.

It's real. I'm an author.

But that means this blog of mine must come to an end as many of the posts from 2006 thru 2007 are now copyrighted by Amazon/Kindle. Slowly but surely I must dismantle TheSkinnyOnline, my beloved blog, the place where I let you  hold me accountable, where I suffered and rejoiced, where I blogged my heart out day after day for almost 8 years.

There are some precious posts that document some important events involving other people. I will archive those blog posts over at my other blog so that they're still available as a matter of history, for posterity as they say. I want the people I wrote about to have access to them.

For now I'm blogging, not daily, but only when I have something important to say over at
Prof Lisa Says

I'll also be remaking my online presence with my book(s) in mind with the help of my marketing team - my handlers, ha!

I'll also be remaking myself from nose to toes, spiritually, physically, emotionally, etc. There will be many great stories to tell. I'll be writing books till my heart stops!

I promise that I'll always be learning, growing, and changing.

Remember, to learn is to change.

Thank you from all my heart for reading and for caring. If you wish to reach me my email is

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Saturday, January 31, 2015

January 31 2015

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January 30 2015

a place isn't a location.
A place is its people.

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Thursday, January 29, 2015

Miracle Worker

Annie Sullivan: I'm counting on her. 
                          That little head is dying to know. 

James Keller: Know what? 

Annie Sullivan: Anything. Any and every crumb in God's creation.  I've got to use that appetite too. 

James Keller: Maybe she'll teach you. 

Annie Sullivan: Of course. 

James Keller: That she isn't. That there's such a thing 
                       as dullness of heart, acceptance, and letting go. 
                       Sooner or later we all give up, don't we? 

Annie Sullivan: Maybe you all do. It's my idea of the original sin. 

James Keller: What is? 

Annie Sullivan: Giving up. 

James Keller: You won't open her. 
                       Why can't you let her be 
                       and have some pity on her for bein' what she is? 

Annie Sullivan: If I'd ever once thought like that, 
                          I'd be dead. 

James Keller: You will be. Why trouble? Or will you teach me? 

Annie Sullivan:  No. No pity. I won't have it. On either of us.

Don't give up
on the miracle you were meant to make.

Hellen Keller's family didn't believe she could learn language. They fought Teacher Annie Sullivan every step of the way, but Teacher wouldn't give up on her.

How did Teacher work her miracle? She believed in her student's potential, she believed in her ability to reach her, she was relentless. She refused to give up.

Believe, believe, work hard, and never give up.

 should train the child
 to use his brains, 
to make for himself 
a place in the world 
and maintain his rights 
even when it seems that society 
would shove him 
into the scrap-heap." 
- Hellen Keller 
in Going Back to School 1934

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Wednesday, January 28, 2015


Harry Mitchell: Thompson lied when he said you couldn't be with Elise because she brings out your reckless side.

David Norris: Then why? Why do they care so much?

Harry Mitchell: Because she's enough, David. 
If you have her you won't need to fill that inside of you with applause and votes and dreams of one day making it to the White House.

Harry Mitchell: David, you risked everything for Elise. And Elise, when you came through that door at the statue of Liberty, you risked everything too. But you inspired me. Seems like you inspired The Chairman too...It says that this situation between the two of you is a serious deviation from the plan.  
So, The Chairman rewrote it.

I call it "The Gatsby Effect."
Gatsby wouldn't have made his millions in an attempt to win his Daisy if she had just been with him in the first place.
It was his wanting that made him work, to acquire wealth, to throw his parties, and to reach for that green light of the dock across the water.

If he had his Daisy, he would have been unmotivated because she was his happiness. She would have been enough.

In the film The Adjustment Bureau they show us that same concept. Matt Damon's character David Norris is thwarted every time he tries to be with Emily Blunt's character Elise because, as Harry Mitchell explains, she would be enough for him. David wouldn't try to get into the White House or make his dreams come true if he had a dream come true at his side.

David was supposed to save the world. If he had Elise, he'd have enough, he wouldn't have to strive for anything, he wouldn't make his political career, and the world would fall apart.

But by the end of the film, with the force of his faith, will, and resolve, he convinces the God-character to let him have Elise AND trust him to pursue his world-saving career. He has enough and still saves the world.

I wonder if sometimes that's why what we think will bring us happiness remains just slightly out of reach. It keeps us striving. If we have enough, what would motivate us to do much of anything? Maybe God puts a time-delay on our happiness so that we'll work hard, strive, and change the world.

Gatsby shows us the tragedy of striving for that happiness.
Adjustment Bureau shows us that we can have our "enough" and still be motivated to fulfill our destiny and it gives us a happy ending.

I wonder what real life will bring.

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Tuesday, January 27, 2015

not normal

No one normal could have done that. 
Do you know, this morning... 
I was on a train that went through a city 
that wouldn't exist if it wasn't for you. 
I bought a ticket from a man 
who would likely be dead if it wasn't for you. 
I read up on my work... 
a whole field of scientific inquiry 
that only exists because of you. 
Now, if you wish you could have been normal... 
I can promise you I do not. 
The world 
is an infinitely better place
 precisely because 
you weren't normal. 
- Joan Clarke to Alan Turing in Imitation Game 

I didn't expect this film to have such a heart-wrenching backstory. I didn't even know that homosexuality was a crime in Great Britain and was only recently decriminalized (1982). I can't go into the details because I'm so terribly heartbroken over many of the aspects of Turing's life depicted in this film.

Please let's notice how being "normal" is enforced by otherwise good people. When so called "normal" people come up against difference it's like they act on behalf of a centralized social control police to let the "not-normals" know their place. They'll let the not-normals know that they're fun to watch, entertaining to have around for a bit, but shouldn't overstay their welcome.

If you're too weird or stay around too long or try to get too close, the normals will let you know you're out of bounds. They probably won't be nice about it either. You'll be treated like the danger they believe you to be.

I don't even want to rant because I'm so heartbroken over the life events depicted in this film.

Oh, and the main story is about decoding German communiques during World War II and how Turing invented a data processor to do so.

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Monday, January 26, 2015

healing is an action

Healing is not an 'insight' based modality 
of treatment, 
anymore than someone 'talking' to you 
about your broken leg would be...
I hear "I've done A LOT of work on myself" 
from 'em all the time~ 
but it hasn't healed them...
You can either learn, 
heal and grow~ 
you can continue to struggle. 
Core issues don't resolve themselves... ever. 
Work 'em out now.
 - Shari Schreiber M.A., no-nonsense healer author

I sound like the patient-type she's describing.
I've done all kinds of "work" on myself but it hasn't healed me, not all the way, maybe not even half way.

Healing core injuries takes work. Analysis and awareness are places to start but they can become ruts. Ruts fool you into thinking you're moving forward, but you're really not making progress. No real healing is taking place when you're in a rut.

The work involves developing a sense of self-worth by creating healthy relationships, healthy boundaries, healthy patterns of thought, and fulfilling actions. One must become an expert at real self-care (not mere indulgence or distraction) that involves acknowledging and meeting one's own needs. One must learn to feel worthy and believe one's needs are worth meeting.

Not easy stuff.

When we're raised to fear our own parents' reactions to our neediness, we believe deep down inside that our needs aren't worthy and that we are merely servants of others' egos. Our parents become bigger than life and subsequently our fear of being authentic selves becomes too big to overcome. I still fear making any kind of mistake that might cause someone to disapprove of me because of the wrath and backlash I'd face as a child if I dared to differ from my mother or try to become independent of her.

click here or click below

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Sunday, January 25, 2015

never let go

This picture
hurts my heart.

Did I lose a son in a past life? A little brother?

I wanted him to hold my hand forever and never, never, never let go.

Then, something happened.
All my cats are male, you know.

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