I want I see I can

Relational
What would you love for your relationship with your mom & dad?
What about your current or future lover or spouse?

This section of the vision worksheet is pretty easy.
Relationally?
I've been working on my relationships with my parents since...well...since I realized I was a person and not a parasitic symbiotic extension of them.
But really, working on my relationships with them since I moved out at 23.
There have been blow ups, crying confrontations, rehashing of the past and apologies.
Things aren't perfect but they're better.
If anything I'd like to have more time and resources to take care of them.

Spouse or lover?
I don't even know if I WANT to visualize anything in that area.
I would have to imagine being happy in a relationship with someone and I can't.
I don't know what benefit a relationship like that would bring me.
Sex?
A comedian once said that getting married for sex is like buying a 747 airplane to get the free peanuts.
Lots of trouble, little pay off.

I have PLENTY of friends.
Life is good in that area.
I would like to continue having and making friends.

Physical
Health & Fitness
Beauty – art, clothing, jewelry, etc
Material goods & tangibles, acquisitions, toys, real estate, cars, etc

Well this is one that I can sink my teeth into!
Health: walking, running, vibrant energy, clear dewy skin, strong sturdy legs, the urge to dance, sharp vision, unclogged hearing, no colds or coughs, healthy appetite, satiety after eating a good amount of food, strong heart and lungs, nourished body, agile mind, toned muscular but zaftig body, can play in the ocean and walk on the beach without getting tired, balance, no dizzyness, no cellulite, able to do martial arts, can spin around and still stand up straight, normal digestion, fresh breath, strong white teeth, a glow about me, large lung capacity, thick young looking hair, no need for makeup, tight lifted body.

Beauty and material goods - cleaner smoother looking living space but with all my ecclectic stuff on top of a warm color scheme. Big comfy sofas from Pottery Barn. A watch for every color outfit. An organized walk in closet the size of a bedroom complete with dressing area (ala Karen Walker)
Big flat screen tv for enjoying tv and movies. Attractive, new, sexy kitchen stuff. A much bigger living space with big bright open windows, greenery outside, lots of large comfy furntiture. High quality movie memorabilia like maquettes and original issue posters. Hanging lit up starships. Lots of accent lights. Tiffany lamps. Elegant throws. A more comfortable car with a great stereo. Really good health insurance and or lots of money.


Deep down I believe it's all doable.
From this lowly vantage point in my wheelchair with my braced up leg, spent adrenals, compromised digestion, thinning hair and low stamina, I still have the mental energy to cook up some great visions and make them happen.

How?
Well, that's where goal setting comes in.

For right now my goals are in the blinking red light zone.
I am doing what I can to heal my ruptured tendon.
But what if the end of July comes around and I still can't walk?
I had that fear today.
I walked from my bedroom to the kitchen and back again without the crutches just to see if I could.
The knee flared up again so badly I had to take some Alleve.
Not a huge deal but not reassuring either.

Today I stayed up at school all day.
My morning class ended at 1pm.
Had Japanese for lunch.
Came back here to school and stayed awake doing work all afternoon.

All I can think about is sleep.
I'm fantasizing about lying down on one of the sofas in the lobby and konking out like a freshman.
I'm having coffee fantasies, tasting my imaginary Caramel Macchiato.

I'm so damned tired.
But I fought the urge to drink or take anything to perk me up.
I'm just letting the tiredness be and going about my business.

Sometimes resisting the bad things can be just as proactive as proactivity!
I feel like a day resisting caffeine and stimulants is bringing me one day closer to walking...running...dancing.

I can almost see myself running toward me.

*Lisa's Video Pick of the Day*
Carolyn Myss says we never seem to place limits on what we think we can have,
yet we tend to place limits on what we think we can do.
She says Step One is getting ourselves off the couch.
Step Two is knowing that what we do matters.
We have to do something for ourselves and something for the "whole" every day.
Every single day.
Everyday.
click here