Thursday, March 15, 2012

not just self esteem

"...it was all about repetition.  
Repetition is the mother of skill 
he would tell me. 
And I saw the difference in it. 
It WORKED and it was true. 
He was very big on building up your basics
 because the basics are your foundation. 
When a house has a strong foundation, 
you can build on top of it. 
Very similar to what Master Roshi 
was trying to teach Goku and Krillin."
- A. Trento

But I do love life even when I'm suffering in its valley of tears.
Even when I'm afflicted with pain, I love having the experience of hope. Then I love the experience of getting better. Still, I'll be very very relieved when this painful cyst is over with. In the meantime I'm grateful that it is ushering toxic waste out of my body so that I can move forward.

Habits.
Daily habits.
My lenten commitment of praying the Rosary every day is changing me. I even believe that the cyst has something to do with it. I prayed for Purification. Granted, I meant purification of my heart but if purification of my body is necessary, I'll take it. I'll take it hard apparently, but I'll take it.

Prayer changes the heart.
Some folks don't like the idea of repetitious prayers or praying by rote.
I'm of a different opinion.
I think it's like hammering a nail into something. Random,  poorly aimed whacks won't do it very well. In order to build something sturdy you need to whack in the same spot over and over again.

Change happens for me when I'm consistent.
Growth happens for me when I do difficult things that I don't want to do.
Not everyone is like me in that respect and I've taken criticism for it.
People could just let people learn in their own best way.
My way is what I'm choosing for me.
I talk about it.
That doesn't mean it has to be right for you.
I'm just sharing my experiences.

Praying the Rosary and the ho'oponopono prayer every day is changing me. I can feel it. It's like I'm taking a giant pipe cleaner to my soul and cleaning myself out, becoming more aware of how I can be better, facing my worst habits and forgiving myself so I can move forward.
I'm whacking that nail over and over again to build a better me.

I talk about daily habits building self-esteem. Daily habits do that and more.
They change our being.

My heart is getting lighter.
The purge may be difficult, painful, exhausting, but the upshot is that I'll be better...and happier as a result.
I already am.

Amen.

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