Surprise Workout Company

"Ego worries

about what other people think of us. 

Ego judges us 

and expects more, more, more. 

Ego compares herself to others

and often finds herself lacking. 

Ego needs to prove something 

to be someone.

Ego values awards,

education and public recognition. 

Your true self 

 values knowledge,

stimulation and sharing 

what you have learned with others. 

Can you recognise the difference?"

- Anne Hartley in The Happiness Connection

I walked into my trainer's school and saw an adorable young woman with a cute figure and feared the worst.
Was this nimble young thing going to be there for my workout?
My ego went wild doing what egos do: comparing, fearing, judging, shaming, dreading, what-iffing, and wost-case-scenario-ing.

I worried that I'd look foolish in front of this fit young thing who I knew was a Black Belt and had been for years. She was one of the "Friars of Old" that Andrew speaks of so highly. It's bad enough that I have this hero worship of martial artists but this one was on a special pedestal. A 22 year old Friar of old was about to be there right next to me as I struggled through what I believe to be my newbie-level workout.
I felt grossly inadequate (thank you, ego).

But first, I had a treat. Andrew, the Friar girl, and one of Andrew's Black Belts were going to show me a Taekwondo form. I stood by the mirrors ready to watch. She was at the front and the two boys were at the back. I watched them and couldn't have been happier. Adorable isn't strong enough of a word  to describe them.
I was kvelling.

But my joy was momentary as now it was time to pick up weights and do things, difficult things, things that I assumed would be easy for her and difficult for me, things I thought would make me look weak-sauce in comparison to her.

Then Andrew handed her 5 pound weights and also gave me the 5 pound weights. The ones he handed me were the "wrong" color. I thought I used the purple velvety weights not the shiny blue smooth weights. The shiny blue smooth weights felt too light. They weren't the ones I had been using. I asked for heavier weights. They felt better. They anchored me better. He said, "You go girl!" to me which I didn't want to hear (I actually had a puss on about a totally different ego-bound issue and was ragingly PMS... but I digress).

Of course she moved with a youthful strength that I'd expect from an athlete, but she said she hadn't worked out in 7 years. I'm not sure I actually heard that correctly, but she kept saying "it's been 7 years."
I was having trouble processing that.
She had a cute figure, looked damned strong to me, fit with just enough flesh to make her look darling and seemed to be working just as hard as I was to do the exercises.
How could it be that she was working just as hard as I was?

I was witnessing something I'd only read about and I guess didn't fully believe till I saw it with my own eyes: that you can't judge a person's fitness level by looking at them.

My arms burned and she complained that her arms burned.
We did crunches and she was experiencing the same "Ow-y" that I was.
She wasn't superhuman. She was human.
And she was funny. Her little grunts and comments kept me entertained the whole time. Everything that hurt on me hurt less because of her wit and her humanness.

Halfway through our workout we were joined by the other Black Belt who was present.
More comments and complaining and he's 18.

So it boils down to the benefits and downfalls of making comparisons.
How do you know the difference between a benefit and a downfall?
The downfall will make you paranoid, judge-y, fearful...the dark side are they.
The benefits will break down the preconceived notions that separate people,
put you at ease, and maybe make your workout hurt less.

And I got to workout with a Friar of old.
All kinds of win.

Thank you JF and RL :-)

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