I wouldn't want to give daughters hope
that they will.
But once a daughter understands
her mother's narcissism,
her own anger
your mother's limitations.
One of the women on my online forum
described her old mentality
toward her mother
as something like this,
"It's like my mom is colorblind,
and I keep asking her
to appreciate a rainbow.""
I had lunch with my mother today.
I did not share with her any of my recent breakthroughs
in physical therapy,
my healing practice
or my spiritual life.
Why would I sully my recent successes with
or her changing the subject immediately to something about her?
or her diminishing my accomplishments?
or her reminding me of past failures
or my short comings?
Today, I kept all my good news to myself.
And you know what?
She didn't notice.
She didn't notice I was quiet.
She wasn't curious about my life.
She didn't ask questions except for
"How are all your students this semester?"
As usual she prattled on about people in her life,
who was sick,
who had somehow paid attention to her,
who had helped her with the handicap shopping cart at the grocery store,
and of course her usual rant and rave about how senile and inadequate my father is.
She even added a new one:
that when I was a baby my father didn't believe I was really his
and therefore didn't want to waste any of his time or affection on me.
Truth was, I was an extension of her when I was a baby and she wouldn't let him near me.
It wasn't until I could walk that I actually, physically interacted with my father regularly. I was able to toddle over to him. She couldn't intervene. Well, she could and did come to think of it.
She wouldn't let my father tuck me in at night after my first day in kindergarten. From that day on she declared I was too old to be tucked in. She wouldn't let him call me sweetheart either. She said I was his daughter not his sweetheart.
Yeah, old wounds that I need to let heal up so I can move on.
Today's silence was my way of reclaiming my power to be who I am without her
Taking away her power to rain on my parade
by NOT parading in front of her was a smart move on my part.
*Lisa's Video Pick of the Day*
What is gluten, what are the symptoms, what other diseases are implicated from being gluten intolerant, can I test to find out if I am gluten intolerant and how to I live with a gluten intolerance?
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