then hundreds of dollars appeared

I made a mistake.
See, I THOUGHT I had looked at my checking account balance on what I THOUGHT was my last pay day of the spring semester.

I was wrong.
I must have looked on the wrong day and when I found no new funds
I assumed I would be broke till Summer pay day.

Dead wrong.

There has been $580 sitting in my checking account for weeks and
I
DIDN'T
EVEN
KNOW
IT!!

This was Dorothy's lesson in the Wizard of Oz, right?
She had the ability to go home all along.
The Scarecrow had a brain all along.
The Tin Man had a heart
and the Lion had courage.
All they ever wanted was inside them the whole time.

Their thinking got them all screwed up.
They bought into the lie of deficit.

There's a saying in Buddhism that says:
"The mind is the slayer of the real."

Yesterday's lesson in having-what-I-didn't-think-I-had drove that point home for me.

I've got "it", yet I block myself from "it" till I believe I deserve "it" ...whatever "it" may be: money, healing, peace, love, success.

It's no accident that yesterday I made a commitment to put away money and follow a budget.
Then and only then did I allow myself to be aware of the money I ALREADY had in the bank.

My higher self is a real f#cker, ain't she?
We play these exhausting games while my Guardian Angel dotes after us like a worried nanny.
I'm surprised she hasn't asked for hazard duty pay.

What did I do with the money I found in my account?
I immediately went to the Pathmark and got some fruit, frozen fruit bars and cocoa powder.
(See where my highest values are?)
Next I paid my mother back the advance she had given me on the big paycheck that's coming this Thursday.
Then I put 10% of it aside for savings (big step for me).
Now my farmer gets paid
and tonight my friends and I are going to the State Fair at the Meadowlands!!!
Time for some tigers and racing pigs!!

Let's hope that my higher self and I can agree to let go of all worries and have a good time.

*Lisa's Video Clip of the Day*
No coincidence that this episode of Scrubs was on yesterday.
For some reason I cried when this part came on.
Must be a lesson I need to learn.
And just now I cried again as soon as Turk turned over the organ donor card and the music started up.
Always learnin'.
Learnin' and cryin'.
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