Brava! The hardest thing we're ever faced with, I think, is loving ourselves genuinely and as-is, knowing that we might change. It would be pretty hard to expect unconditional love from somebody else if we weren't able to give it to ourselves first.
Wow. I am so glad I found your blog! I can completely feel you on this. I've recently lost almost 80 lbs through diet, exercise, and breastfeeding (LOL, but it's true!). And I know that people have told me TO MY FACE how unattractive I used to be. (They forget that it's still ME I guess...) And I've heard it in many forms. Like, one friend who just recently said to me, "I can't believe you're wearing smaller jeans than me. I mean, YOU are wearing smaller jeans than ME. That's so crazy..blah blah blah."
The thing is, I never even thought I was that much bigger than this girl. I saw her as my friend, not some skinny chic who was so much smaller than me.
And another (long distance) friend, when I told her of this discussion, said to me, "Wow, I didn't think that _________ was that big!" (Implying that I AM that big!!) Frustrating.
Anyway, it's fun when you start to learn who your friends are lol.
But as I was saying before I decided to write this book in your comments section, I can really identify with your emotions. I'm going to have to set your blog up under my "follow" section.
Oh, and to address the issue you initially discussed, about loving yourself as is--what I've learned is that if you cannot love yourself as you are, you will have a heck of a time changing it.
"It's a natural human tendency to despise paradox, to be uncomfortable with unclear divisions and grey areas."
Indeed. But what's also interesting is that we as humans CONSTANTLY embrace paradoxes within our own life philosophies (religions, love lives and even diets).
You are beautiful. You deserve to feel it, to live life completely because the world needs 100% Lisa, and so do you.
rumspringa, Exactly! Others take a cue from us when it comes to how we want to be loved....... Angie, I'm so glad you found my blog, too!! That internalized oppression rears its ugly head from the most surprising places. Why do folks feel the need to measure up against one another? Thanks for the reminder that change can only come from a place of self acceptance!....... Zumjay, 100% me? It's a scary thought. Love ya!!
Dedicated to helping people live healthier, happier lives, Lisa Sargese is a college professor, certified hypnotist and trained qigong therapist. Lisa speaks and vlogs on overcoming overeating, life after weight loss surgery, recovery for daughters of narcissistic mothers, healing from depression, the mind-body connection, spirituality, and achievement. In 2009, she received the Mirror Mirror Award for her work in body positivity and eating disorder recovery. In 2012 she was honored with the Tikkun Olam Award for her interfaith work. She teaches religion and psychology at universities in her home state of New Jersey.
Contact Lisa: BelovedIdeas@gmail.com
5 comments:
Brava! The hardest thing we're ever faced with, I think, is loving ourselves genuinely and as-is, knowing that we might change. It would be pretty hard to expect unconditional love from somebody else if we weren't able to give it to ourselves first.
Wow. I am so glad I found your blog! I can completely feel you on this. I've recently lost almost 80 lbs through diet, exercise, and breastfeeding (LOL, but it's true!). And I know that people have told me TO MY FACE how unattractive I used to be. (They forget that it's still ME I guess...) And I've heard it in many forms. Like, one friend who just recently said to me, "I can't believe you're wearing smaller jeans than me. I mean, YOU are wearing smaller jeans than ME. That's so crazy..blah blah blah."
The thing is, I never even thought I was that much bigger than this girl. I saw her as my friend, not some skinny chic who was so much smaller than me.
And another (long distance) friend, when I told her of this discussion, said to me, "Wow, I didn't think that _________ was that big!" (Implying that I AM that big!!) Frustrating.
Anyway, it's fun when you start to learn who your friends are lol.
But as I was saying before I decided to write this book in your comments section, I can really identify with your emotions. I'm going to have to set your blog up under my "follow" section.
Have a great day and thanks for the honesty! xoxo
Oh, and to address the issue you initially discussed, about loving yourself as is--what I've learned is that if you cannot love yourself as you are, you will have a heck of a time changing it.
"It's a natural human tendency to despise paradox, to be uncomfortable with unclear divisions and grey areas."
Indeed. But what's also interesting is that we as humans CONSTANTLY embrace paradoxes within our own life philosophies (religions, love lives and even diets).
You are beautiful. You deserve to feel it, to live life completely because the world needs 100% Lisa, and so do you.
I love you!
rumspringa, Exactly! Others take a cue from us when it comes to how we want to be loved....... Angie, I'm so glad you found my blog, too!! That internalized oppression rears its ugly head from the most surprising places. Why do folks feel the need to measure up against one another? Thanks for the reminder that change can only come from a place of self acceptance!....... Zumjay, 100% me? It's a scary thought. Love ya!!
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