Diary of a Fat Girl

Had my first weight loss surgery at age 23 in 1988 as part of Dr. Lubomyr Kuzmak's experimental group to receive the first adjustable gastric band in the USA (not called the lap band as it was done via open abdominal incision). When that sprang a leak I received another gastric band via open surgery in 1993. After the port flipped over inside me I decided to just live with it rather than undergo yet another surgery. My weight reached its highest (400+ pounds) in 2006 as the old gastric band eroded into my stomach causing adhesions and complications that scared off most of the surgeons I approached. Finally had a revision from the band to an RNY gastric bypass in 2006 (by the super competent Dr. Daniel Davis).

Riding the honeymoon-high of rapid weight loss from post-op starvation and energy drinks to fuel my compulsive exercising, I lost over 140 pounds in under 2 years. Then I hit a plateau and my energy bottomed out. Half the weight came back even though I consumed a restricted amount of food. My body began to break down from fatigue, hypothyroid symptoms, and malabsorption. My hair fell out and my complexion looked grey (the WLS world calls it 'grey ghost syndrome'). I spent 3 years in a wheelchair due to severe arthritis and multiple knee surgeries.

I have been writing every day since the gastric bypass as I recover from depression, sleep apnea, diabetes, anemia, arthritis, crippling body shame, and what used to be a severe binge eating disorder. One by one I will share what I've been writing as I discover the best ways to get and stay well!

I believe that Real Recovery can happen when we focus on healing from within, realizing our own worthiness, and learning the habits of well-being. Learn with me!
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