awfulize: To imagine that a situation
is worse than it really is,
especially by taking negative possibilities to extremes...
...You expect the worst possible outcome
in any situation
where the outcome is unknown at the present time.
Based upon prior negative experiences,
you project negatively.
we see roadblocks instead of opportunities.
When we let fear stop us we are letting fear define us. When we awfulize we are letting fear determine our progress.
I know I do it. I know I project worse case scenarios rather than allowing what is to be what it is. I let fear of negative outcomes stop me from opening my mouth and taking chances. I let my fear of other people's reactions stop me from communicating. It's easier to hide behind the illusion of control.
Awfulizing is a way to avoid the risk of being misunderstood or rejected. It's a way to avoid the pain of a bad reaction. Awfulizing takes the worst case scenario and let's the imagination run with it. It provides the perfect excuse for not moving forward.
Thinking the worst case scenario saves us from taking the risk of having the worst case scenario come true, but....and everyone loves a big BUT...it also prevents the best case scenario from ever happening, or even a scenario somewhere in between best and worst. In other words, awfulizing kills possibility. It creates the illusion of control but it leads nowhere. It stunts growth.
Still, awfuizing is a major pain avoidance technique. Self torture feels more manageable than the actual torture of what reality might bring. We can control our self torture with awfulizing. We can say, "You can't hurt me because I'm going to hurt myself first. You can't cause me any harm because I beat you to it."
Carolyn Myss says that we try to postpone progress with excuses about time. We will often use the words "not ready" when we want to keep our lives manageable. We'll not-yet the situation, but Myss warns us that we can't halt progress. Our souls know what to do next. Our minds might create the obstacles but the soul finds a way to get what we need. That's when we see eruptions in our lives, disasters, catastrophes, fights, conflicts, surprise twists and turns on our life paths. Our souls will rattle us to shake us loose from our stuck positions. Situations will arise that force us to move forward. That's when we go tripping and scraping our knees or our vehicles will flip over and throw us from the driver's seat onto the road where we'll have to move quickly to avoid being hid by a bus.
Sometimes I'm the coward who clings to her steering wheel hoping to control the car while it careens all over the road trying to shake me out of the safety of my awfulizing pace of 10 miles per hour. I know I do it. I don't like that I do it, but prying my hand off the steering wheel before I'm "ready" makes me cling tighter.
Then my car flips.