lack is a lie

"When you focus on the lack 
and talk about what you don't have, 
you shouldn't be at all surprized 
when more lack is what shows up. 
Put your thoughts on the fact 
that it's on it's way 
and you will begin to attract 
everything that you have
in your intention....

 

...Everything that happens 
and every person you meet 
will then help you to achieve 
what it is that you have an intention about. 
And this is passion...

 

...Lao-tzu says 
that doors don’t open 
while we have attachment to physical things 
for ourselves. 
What he calls the angelic guides
or Source energy 
doesn’t enter our lives 
until we take the focus off 
“what’s in it for me?” 
or
“what kind of job am I going to get?” 
or
“how much money am I going to make?” 
and instead focus on
“how may I serve?” 
Get that inner picture of yourself 
serving in the capacity of your choice 
and then be at peace with it....

...Take the focus off scarcity and lack
and visualize service. 
That’s how Spirit works - when we’re letting go, 
when we’re not trying, 
not chasing."

- Dr. Wayne Dyer

Stop focusing on lack.
Focus on service.
Focus on abundance.

I'm trying. I'm trying.

Slowly but surely it's working.

When I find myself panicking over the new $430 a month health insurance premium
I stop myself. Take a deep breath and concentrate on all the things I HAVE been able to pay.

During the first few years since I finished my second Master's Degree (I finished in 2006, same year as the bypass) I only worked one job. I had one teaching job. Although I taught year round I was still barely scraping by financially. One adjuncting job is not enough to live on.

Even when I was riding the high of post-op weight loss and over exercising I still didn't have the energy to work. I spent all my energy (fueled by caffeine and energy drinks) at the gym then came home and collapsed.

Convinced that I would either find full time work or be rich and famous within the year (ha!)
I put my utility bills, health care and many necessities on my parents' credit card (with their permission).
Even with my parents paying many of my expense outright
I ran up quite a credit card bill, over $8000.

Well guess what.
I paid off the last of it on Saturday.

8 large, baby!!
Paid off.

I also do not use my parents' credit card for "emergencies" any longer.
I repaired my credit (somewhat) and go two credit cards of my own.
One has a zero balance.
The other has a $28 dollar balance from the gasoline I put in my car yesterday.
Sweet.

Rather than having NO money in my wallet
I always try to have about $30 on me.
That might not seem like a big deal but it's a big deal for me.
Someday soon it will be $300 plus a platinum card.
It's important to dream big.
The universe doesn't understand limit when you're envisioning something.
The source of all energy is not laughing at us when we try to imagine a life of ease and abundance.
We laugh at ourselves. We impose our own limits with our "yeah, but we have to be realistic" mentality.

And yes, we do have to be realistic.
Flagrant overspending or running up a credit card based on a dream is not the best way to manifest wealth.

What I'm saying is, if I hadn't dreamed big and worked as hard as I could
I wouldn't have gotten this far.
I'm wobbling to my feet over here.
I pay my bills. That's a big deal for me.

Soon I will have an abundance of money to put into good service.
How do I know?
Because every day I get closer to healthy, strong and able.
Every semester I get new work.
Closer and closer to being of service in the capacity I was destined for.
When I calmly imagine myself successful and happy something always happens to match that vision.

When I prayed for help with my health, the insurance opportunity presented itself (I went looking for it).

Sometimes I hear the enemy in my head telling me that
I'm 46 and it's about time
or
I should be further along
or
big deal, so you work for a living :-(

I fight those demons daily.
Those demon voices want to steal my joy,
kill my hope
and destroy my fragile footing.

I fight them off
in the name of all that is good.

I'm getting better at it.


*Lisa's Video Pick of the Day*
Here's a little wisdom of the Tao from Dr. Dyer.
click here or click below