“Why am I compelled to write?
Because the writing
saves me
saves me
from this
complacency I fear.
Because I have no choice....
...Because I must keep the spirit
of my revolt
and myself alive.
Because the world I create
in the writing
compensates
for what the real world
does not give me.
By writing
I put order in the world,
give it a handle
so I can grasp it....
...I write because life does not appease
my appetites and hunger.
I write to record what others erase
when I speak,
to rewrite the stories
others have miswritten
about me,
about you."
- Gloria Anzaldua in
An edge rider.
A fence straddler.
A waffler.
I don't fit in with any one camp.
You can't put me in the WLS Community camp because I don't believe WLS is really healthy.
Not the band, not the bypass, not the sleeve, not the switch.
I also think the WLS dietary guidelines are crap. The bariatric products on the market are over processed, chemically laden, fake, fractured foods that do not nourish as they promise to. In fact, I believe they make people sick.
Try talking that way anywhere near WLS folks.
They don't welcome it, trust me.
You can't put me in the Fat Acceptance camp because I don't want to be as heavy as I am.
Sure, size acceptance is a great idea psychologically.
But physically, you can't put all obese people in the health at every size category.
Some people are immobilized by crippling fat.
I cannot advocate for health at every size, but I can advocate for health at many sizes.
I do believe that many folks who fall into the obese category can be radiantly healthy.
But that's not enough for Fat Acceptance folks.
They tend to be all or nothing. A "safe space" means one can never discuss diets or weight loss, ever.
You cannot put me in the Fat Acceptance camp because I really do want to be lighter.
I need a knee replacement. I know that being lighter will make the recovery easier.
But being lighter means losing weight.
Try talking about losing weight anywhere near a fat acceptance activist.
They won't welcome it, trust me.
You can't fit me squarely into the Real Foods camp either.
I get bored out of my mind reading about recipes and children.
And sometimes, I like to eat out.
I like Lindt dark chocolate bars, too.
Try talking about eating commercial foods anywhere near a diehard WAPF foodie.
They won't like it.
The same goes for
New Agers
Feminists
Liberals
Conservatives
Christians
Pluralists
Recovering Anythings
Positive Thinkers
Law of Attractionists
Scholars
Holistic Nutritionists....
the list of folks with whom I identify is pretty vast, yet I don't really ascribe wholeheartedly to any one dogma,
culture or demographic.
I've had this problem in the past when trying to "brand" my blog.
I didn't know if I was a gastric bypass journey writer
or a size acceptance writer
or an eating disorder recovery blogger.
I still don't know.
On Facebook I'm friends with size acceptance folks,
WLS folks,
LGBT folk etc...(See above list)
and they probably wonder where I stand.
Sometimes I'll get the silent treatment from someone in one camp
if I seem too much in favor of an opinion from another camp.
Sometimes I even get un-friended.
(for the record, the more politically liberal a person is the more likely they'll
unfriend me....you know, the ones who preach tolerance of difference...ain't so tolerant of me)
A friend wrote to me suggesting that I might be confused as I search for the best way to be healthy
if I continue to associate with the WLS folk who are so adamantly anti-fat.
Perhaps she's right.
The most egregious offenders of fatness are often the WLS "stars".
The latest effort to defeat obesity in the bariatric-sphere is a website called Dear Flabby
written by a gastric bypass post-op who is about 2 years out from her surgery.
She's vocally anti-fat and has no problem insulting people of size with seemingly innocent comments like;
"I've been fat and I've been thin and thin is sooo much better!"
I'm paraphrasing.
Part of me still identifies with that camp despite the anti-fat sentiments. Mostly because I have a surgically altered gut.
Unless you've had weight loss surgery, you really can't imagine the pain and weirdness associated with it.
Secondly I watch them because when they regain or acquire post-op health problems
I see evidence of the damage WLS causes people, even those who have reached their weight loss goal.
I can reassure myself that I'm-not-crazy, lazy or imagining things when I say WLS has side effects that outweigh the benefits.
Or maybe I'm a masochist and I think I deserve to be insulted.
So where do I fit in?
I guess I don't.
I don't fit in snugly with any camp.
Maybe it's time to form my own camp.
A camp for the in-betweeners,
the wafflers,
the open to questioners,
the seekers
and trouble makers.
A camp for being open to options.
A camp for being ok with folks who don't exactly agree
or at least seeing the benefit of listening to their opinions.
A camp where one doesn't have to define themselves rigidly for the sake of
putting readers at ease.
Time to build a bonfire at Camp Lisa!
*Lisa's Video Pick of the Day*
This is a hilarious parody of support groups
and how any behavior can be skewed as a compulsion
if we let other people define it for us.
The rant at 4:00 into it is great!
click here or click below
Posts
7 comments:
I find this struggle myself. I find myself supporting the Fat Acceptance people, but not being supported by them because I want to be healthy. (And I do mean healthy ~ if that means a size 16 for me then that is where I need to be, if that is a size 8, then I need to be there.) Why would anyone not support someone's efforts to be healthy?! Yet, when I talk to the "healthies" I'm not accepted either because I don't believe everyone should be a size 2. I was actually "defriended" by several of them when I did a post on the model Chrystal Renn.
Why isn't there a community of people who can accept others at the size they happen to be, yet also support others in their attempts to be a healthier person? That just seems like basic common decency, yet next to non existent.
And to add the acceptance of not everyone is going to go about getting healthy in the same way. I have turned to plenty of produce, beans, egg whites, lean chicken and fish, and whole grains accompanied by plenty of exercise. People are different. Just because that works for me doesn't mean that's going to work for you or anyone else.
I'm also a conservative atheist who supports war and abortion. So I guess I'm not meant to fit in anywhere. lol
I love "Camp Lisa"; I think the "group" you fit into is the "Just The Way You Are" group - best of all, there's already a theme song available! (Christina Aguilera's "You're Beautiful" is another good theme song)
I think you've gotten to the point that a lot of us get to when we reach a "certain" age - we like ourselves and our life just fine, thank you very much, and if someone has a problem with it, they can just STFU and go away....
Nothing wrong with feeling the need to lose weight FOR YOU - not for anyone else, and not to fit into some 20-year-old effete man's ideal (and think about it - what, exactly, IS the "perfect" body type a la Hollywood these days? It sure isn't what most GROWN heterosexual men want!)
You are beautiful just the way you are, because of who you are INSIDE. And the people who feel the same way about themselves are the only ones whose opinion you should care about. You're there already - welcome to the club!
I wonder who you are identifying as the Fat Acceptance people. I see something different than you mention - to me it seems like the major trend in the Fat Acceptance movement is support of Health at Every Size - the idea that we can all adopt good health habits, regardless of our size. I wouldn't give up on the movement - you can easily find the community you are looking for. (I wrote a book on Health at Every Size (www.HAESbook.com) and I'm happy to report that it's got great support within the Fat Acceptance movement.) But I do agree that within the health care movement, there's an unfortunate emphasis on thinness as necessary for good health. Perhaps you want to check out the Health at Every Size Community Resources (www.HAESCommunity.org) to find like-minded people and resources.
Thank you SO much for this post. I've often felt like you feel and still do. I believe it's important to encourage women at any size to be healthy, for some that means just moving a bit more at her current size and for others that means being a size 6. Many of these movements, diet programs, etc... do to people exactly what was done to them, they alienate people. The point of any of this is that you get to choose, whether good or bad, how they want to live and be/get healthy.
Let's start an In-Betweener REVOLUTION!
I am sorry that you don't feel welcome in the Fat Acceptance community, as I see you as a perfect candidate.
It is true, I, and other bloggers have a no diet/weight loss *promotion* policy, to create a safe space from being bombarded by "You must try this diet, it works for everyone else!!" and "But if you just lost weight, this wouldn't be a problem!" schtick. But that doesn't mean you can't talk about wanting to lose weight and working to lose weight, I welcome that discussion. Discussion and promotion are not the same thing. However, I just want a space free of "the only answer is losing weight". Does that make sense?
I'm all for freedom of choice to do whatever you wish with your own body, so long as a) you aren't being sold lies b) you don't impose that on anyone else's body and c) it's your choice to do whatever you're doing, not other people pressuring you.
But that said - I don't think any of us *must* fit into any category/group anywhere, but I know it is nice to be welcomed into a community.
camp lisa is where it's at!
Greetings, fellow in-betweener!
Another great post, Lisa... & I'm glad to hear your dad is doing better.
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