universal language of the knee

The housekeeper at school was outside my classroom when I arrived.

The first time I met her I was on crutches.

The next time I saw her I was using the cane.

Although she speaks broken English we were able to communicate.

She identified with me.

She has a torn meniscus.

The doctor gave her some shots and physical therapy but she's still in pain.

The physical nature of her job makes her uncomfortable for 8 hours a day.

I sympathized.

Tonight I arrived at school with no cane or crutches.

She saw me and pointed to her knee.

"How?" she asked

Cod liver oil! I said.

Hey, if I have to narrow it down to one thing and convey it with urgency it's going to be the number one superfood (click here for the article Cod Liver Oil: The Number One Superfood by Krispin Sullivan, CN).

She didn't  understand me.

She asked, "No Espanish?"

I made an apologetic face and said No.

But we were in the classroom with the magic of the internet and a dry erase board!

Cod liver oil I said as I started to write.

"Omega 3?" she asked.

I scrunched up my face and made a so-so gesture.

There are so many useless supplements out there that claim to contain Omega 3s.

I really didn't want to emphasize the phrase "Omega 3" and have her fail to obtain the

best possible supplement.

I wrote my recommendation on the board for her

Cod Liver Oil

Blue Ice brand!

"Oh!! Blue Ice! Yes, I see on TV!"

Not sure if they really do advertise it on TV.

If they do, Hallelujah! Finally an infomercial that's worth something.

I didn't want to take a chance that we were talking about the same thing.

I  pulled up Dr. Ron's website (www.drrons.com).

She pulled out a piece of cardboard from her pocket and wrote everything down.

She told me her son knows how to use the computer and would order it for her.

Whew!

Problem solved, I thought.

She wasn't finished with me.

She brought up physical therapy.

She wanted to know what I had been doing.

I didn't want to tell the truth and say, Not Much so I showed her an exercise I remembered from when I WAS in physical therapy.

I sat in a hard classroom chair with my feet flat on the floor and my back nice and straight.

I lifted my thigh up off the chair and extended my leg out in front of me with my foot flexed.

Ouch.

I put my leg back down.

Then I showed her by doing it with my other leg which was able to extend much straighter than the right.

Damn.

I tried again with my right knee really trying to push it out straight.

It was stiff and stubborn.

Ok, so I'm walking without a cane or crutches but if I really want full range of motion I'll have to work at it.

Good thing she asked me for help.

By helping her I was able to see what I need to do more clearly.

If I truly want to help others I better be able to help myself, first.

In the meantime, I can still

give advice

IF people ask me for it.

*Lisa's Video Pick of the Day*

Not all cod liver oils are the same.

Kevin Gianni (of the Renegade Health Show) recommends Sonnes

to avoid heavy metal toxicity. I trust him even though I'm really happy to get my CLO from Dr. Ron's Ultra Pure which I believe is free from heavy metals as well.

Either way high quality Cod Liver Oil is not cheap but it DOES work!

click here or click below

so I prayed

I didn't want to get out of bed this morning,
so I prayed.

Why didn't I want to get out of bed?
It wasn't that I was especially tired. I pretty much caught up with sleep and overcame what could have been a bad upper respiratory infection (gargling with colloidal silver, drinking raw milk and sleeping cured me).

It wasn't the weather. It's absolutely beautiful here in NJ. A perfectly warmish cool sunny autumn day is breezing around outside.

It wasn't that my alarm went off early. I don't have to teach till 1:30pm.

It wasn't for lack of engagement with the world. The Montclair Times interviewed me for an article on Pet Blessings and the connection between animals and religion at 10am this morning.

My cats were swarming me on the bed eager for me to give them wet food and attention so it wasn't for lack of love.

I asked myself what my problem is.

Life sucks, I answered.
No it doesn't, I answered back.
Your life is cake! It's better than cake it's a multi- tiered frosted cake!
Yeah, yeah, my life is a frosted cake.
I'm comfortable.
I'm surrounded by pretty things and loved ones.
My body is functional.
My blessings are numerous.
So, why don't I want to live my life today??
Is it the adrenal fatigue?
Should I cheat and have some caffeine (I didn't) to get some motivational hormones going??

I decided to pray.
God, you know my heart.
You have gifted me with talents for some purpose.
Please show me what to do.
Give me some direction to help me live my purpose,
to wake up eager to live,
to help people,
to connect with those who need me and whom I need,
to be happy.
Help  me.

The alarm went off.
It was the news channel blaring about what a perfect day we're having, sunny and breezy.
I sat up reluctantly.

I read some Joel Osteen. He told us to be careful of our self-talk, to tell ourselves that God has good things in store, that the future is bright.
I half believed him.

Did some morning chores then hopped on Facebook
and there it was.

Weston A. Price Foundation These nutrtional professionals follow WAPF dietary guidelines, and Price-Pottenger. Check out their cool new resource center on the net!

Natural Cures Tuesday Introduces NTP Talk | Hartke Is Online!

Source: hartkeisonline.com

The Nutritional Therapists Association has a new public website, NTP Talk, which offers recipes, videos and more, for those exploring nutritional answers to health issues.

about an hour ago · Comment · Like / Unlike · Share

They offer distance learning and financing for tuition.

The books for the courses??

They were all on my "to-read" list anyway.

Can you dig it?

I knew that you could!!!!

I feel like I have something concrete to work toward.

I'm not just a blogger who talks about the  healing power of real food and the nourishing lifestyle.

I'm going to hang a degree on the wall!

Yes, next to all my other ones.

But this one rounds them out.

Kinda like The Dude's rug in The Big Lebowski.

It really ties the room together!

*Lisa's Video Pick of the Day*

"Telling me that it's difficult is not helping. Tell me what to do!" - Tony Robbins

click here or click below

When Attitude Counts

I have to buy a greeting card today.
It has to be beautiful and special.
It may take me more than 5 minutes to select the right one.

In my head I"m imagining standing in the card store being utterly miserable and in pain,
like I'll be standing there holding a huge building on my back.
My mind started taking me down a road of defeat.
I berated myself for having gotten in better shape in 2007 when I was standing without a problem, walking, almost jogging, then losing it all again, slipping back into the heaviness of pain when my body collapsed from exhaustion.

The thirty pounds I've regained feel like a hundred.
I'm older.
I've been damaged and put back together,
afraid my seams will split, afraid of being disappointed again.
I'd rather hide out and save myself from the pain.

Then I tell myself that I'VE DONE THIS BEFORE.
I've recovered!
That's not a bad thing it's a GOOD thing!
So what if I had a set back?
I needed to have a set back so I could learn about real food and real nutrition,
why diets and weight loss surgeries did not work for me,
why nourishment is necessary for overcoming addictions....all addictions.
The mind and the body need to be nourished properly with good thoughts and good food
or no surgery, no diet, no "lifestyle change" will work.
Without the "setback" I never would have learned those lessons.

I got up onto my feet before after weighing 400+ pounds at my heaviest..
Granted I was over exercising and abusing stimulants
(over the counter mostly)
and beating myself up mentally,
forcing myself
rather than nourishing myself back to life.
I fell apart physically, landed on my ass, gained back weight
but look what I found!
Answers, real answers.

I'll be fine at the card store today.
I'll  breathe deeply.
I'll center my weight on a sturdy stance.
I'll step lightly and deliberately when I walk.
I won't need a cane or crutches.

I've done this before.
I know how great it feels to be spry, limber and mobile.
That's my assurance that I can do it again.

I have not been defeated.
I just found ways that don't work,
and now I know how it feels to be up on my feet,
walking,
standing,
breathing,
shopping,
happy to be upright
once again.

What's holding me up today?
My attitude.
My mind.
If my mind can hold me up so can my legs.

*Lisa's Video Pick of the Day*
"Living in the uncomfortable zone...Believe in yourself."
I like this chick.
She had a dream and then just plowed ahead and made it happen.
Did she have obstacles??
Yep
Listen to Kimberly Fowler!
click here or click below

"This kingdom will be established 

one heart at a time.

As one person lays down their life for another. 

As one person lets go of their ego, 

is not threatened by others 

but is happy that the other is there. 

As one person realizes that by lifting up someone else,

by helping someone else find 

their gifts 

and their greatness 

to offer back to God 

and the world doesn’t diminish them but helps them

to achieve a deeper level of greatness that is tied into eternity..."

- Fr James Chern

in Pursuit of Greatness (click here)

Salty Nutritionist

Click here and scroll down.
Look on the left side of the screen in the side bar.

You'll see this little tidbit:

Food For Thought Fact Or Fiction?
How much do you really know about nutrition? Take our quiz!



I took the quiz  which is purportedly designed by
registered dietitian and Early Show contributor Keri Glassman.

I'm not sure HOW this woman sleeps at night while she's using her TV cred and her RD "education" to spread such misinformation as that found in

Question 2
Sea salt is more nutritious than table salt.

We are prompted to chose
Fact
or
Fiction

I of course answered Fact because I know that quality sea salt is very different than the crap found in most salt shakers, but the quiz tells me I'm wrong!

This is the answer that  pops up:
They are really both the same. Sea salt comes from evaporated sea water and table salt comes from mined minerals. They are both sodium chloride. The difference comes down to taste and texture. 

Oh. Is that a fact?
Then why am I going out of my way to buy Celtic Sea Salt for $4.50 a pound??
I could just go to the local dollar store and buy sodium chloride and be done with it according to Glassman's quiz.

When we're talking about comparing Fact and Fiction I think it's probably wise to shop around rather than take a TV dietitian's word for it.

Here's what I found from Certified Nutrition Consultant Lori Lipinski in an article on the Weston A. Price website:

It's important to replenish the salt in our body, using the right salt is what makes all the difference in the world. The best way to put salt back into your body is to use Celtic sea salt. This high quality salt contains over 80 balanced minerals from the sea. Celtic sea salt is essential for maintaining proper fluid balance and utilization in the body. It also normalizes blood pressure, enhances digestion, and nourishes the adrenal glands.

But Keri Glassman said that table salt is the same as sea salt!
Did Keri Glassman forget to consider the 80 sea minerals mentioned by Lori Lipinski?
I suspect that GLASSMAN DOESN'T KNOW WHAT SHE'S TALKING ABOUT.
She has no idea that there are 80 different sea minerals in Celtic Sea Salt including
Bromide, Calcium, Iron, Magnesium, Phosphorous and Zinc just to name a few (for a complete list click here) and that they work together, balancing each other out to nourish us thoroughly.
Glassman doesn't know because the American Dietetics Association doesn't teach this stuff and she didn't bother to do any real research.

It's scary that folks like Glassman are relied upon as experts.

Not that I would ever listen to a mainstream nutrition-misinformation clone who got her limited education from the American Dietetics Association, but some people do!
They look at her smiling face on CBS television,
see that she's thin and enthusiastic,
see her credentials and assume she's telling the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth
when in fact there are different points of view to be considered when determining what is in fact FACT when it comes to what we should feed our bodies for optimal nutrition.

Just cuz someone claims to be teaching facts does not make them an authority.
Research is sometimes contradicted by other research.
WE the consumers have to use our own judgment when it comes to making choices.
One person's fact is another person's nutrition-less table salt.

Glassman makes some other incomplete judgments, otherwise known as mistakes, in her Fact or Fiction quiz but I'm too tired to deal with them right now.
I have a crock pot full of grass fed lamb cubes, lentils, onions, fresh garlic, organic peppers and bone broth that needs to be dealt with.
Oh, and it's time to sprinkle it with some nice, wet, gray Celtic Sea Salt for optimum nutrition.

Keri Glassman is not invited.


*Lisa's Video Pick of the Day*
Conventional medical wisdom holds that salt is unhealthy and should be avoided. But is that really trure?Holistic Practitioner Dr. David Brownstein, M.D. offers a different perspective, explaining why unrefined Celtic Sea Salt® Brand sea salt is actually an important part of a healthy diet.For more information on the health benefits of unrefined sea salt click here.
Or watch this video to see the difference between unrefined salt and refined salt.
click here or click below

Real Foodies are Blogging!

"...what can you do right now 
to start down the right food path? 
You need to eat food packed with nutrition. 
In the book, 
I identify foods highest in seven nutrients 
most commonly associated with depression 
and call those foods 
"depression buster foods." 
I use the USDA nutrient database 
of over 5,000 foods 
and foods most likely 
to help us fight depression."

-Foods Can Fight Depression Blog (click here)

I love Blog carnivals!!

Today I posted one of my blogs in the Fight Back Friday Blog Carnival (click here and scroll down a bit).

Then over the course of the day I went back and looked as folks added their blog entries.

Wow.

There are some INCREDIBLE blogs out there talking about healing with real foods.

The one I quoted today is called "Rebuild: The Blog" (click here)

wherein Amanda discusses nutrient dense foods that fight depression.

She talks about our need for Omega 3s, B vitamins, magnesium, zinc, iron and vitamin D.

No surprise there.

Well it IS a surprise if you're still under the impression that

drugs are the only treatment for depression

or that medical doctors are the only experts on health

or that illness is inevitable and incurable.

Another non-surprise is that Amanda blogs about REAL FOOD.

She talks about saturated fats and how GOOD they are for us.

She talks about the difference between farmed and wild caught fishes as sources of Omega 3.

She talks about grass-fed meats.

In other words, nutrient dense foods are better than vitamin pills when it comes to nourishing the human body.

Well, what do ya know!

Real foods and nourishing traditions are not just some fringe ideas for health-food-people.

Real food is appearing in kitchens all around the globe as people discover their healing, nutritive qualities.

These blog carnivals are getting bigger and bigger.

Must be a sign.

:-)

*Lisa's Video Pick of the Day*

We're blogging and YouTubing!

We're learning and sharing this life saving knowledge.
Check out Simply Susan's video blog.
Holla!

click here or click below

When Faith Won't See

More walking today.
No real pain, just some stiffness and soreness.

I had my doubts.
All summer I wondered if I'd ever walk again.

Intellectually I knew I would.
I knew that my injuries were not going to cripple me forever.
Yeah, I wondered if I'd need knee replacements or other surgery to fix the knee.
But even in my mind's worst case scenario it would be no longer than a year of having to roll or crutch around.

Still, the doubt was there.
I'd create well visions in my  mind of walking and the crutches would creep in.
I'd project into a positive, well, whole future and the wheelchair insinuated itself into my vision.
My imagination felt hemmed in by pain, real pain, and doubt.

Today I did more unassisted walking than I've done since April.
I had the cane with me but I didn't rely on it.
There is the tendency to list to the left.
I did another one of those whooooaaaaaaa things and veered but the cane helped me right myself before I toppled.

Otherwise it was my legs doing all the work.
I felt so hopeful,
so normal,
so well.

Sometimes when we can't see it
we can press forward anyway.

I guess that's one way to be faithful.
Faith can involve pressing forward toward a clear vision
but in this case
I was able to press forward kinda blind.

I pressed.
It worked.


*Lisa's Video Pick of the Day*
"Either way, nothing remains the same."
The evolution of a dream?
Pretty cool.
click here or click below

Bumbles Bounce!!

I'm walking.

I still used the cane a bit today but for the most part I walked on my own.

Things were a bit wobbly at first.

I almost sideswiped a couple of students when I lost my balance and careened sideways

going whooooaaaahhhhh like I was about to fall.

But I didn't fall.

I walked.

The pain in my knee was not so bad.

The exertion was more uncomfortable than the knee.

That was my clue that it's time.

Time to stand on my own two feet literally and figuratively.

What other option do I have?

Break down and lay down??

Been there.

Done that.

It's not like me to fall down and stay down.

I'm like the Bumble (The Abominable Snowmonster from Rudoloph lore).

I'm like a Bumble

and Bumbles bounce!!

Sometimes I bounce up so high I get a little freaked out.
It's like I don't like heights
when really, that's what this is all about.
Bouncing up and staying up.
The higher the better.

I can't let my ballast sink me back down to the ground.
Time to stand, then loft, then float.

I walked purposefully to my car tonight.
I took long strides.
I used my leg muscles to make my steps cover as much ground as possible with each giant step.

Tonight it was unseasonably warm in NJ.
The temperature on the Giant's Stadium marquee on the drive home read 75 degrees Fahrenheit.

It's the first day of autumn but it felt like summer,
warm and thick.
Walking widely and assuredly in the humid night air made me feel like I hadn't missed my whole summer by being in a wheelchair.

I took my big steps and reclaimed the warm summer night.

It's good to be back on my feet.

*Lisa's Video Pick of the Day*
I can't complain. Fellow blogger Tarra lost 200 pounds then gained it all back plus.
She decided it was time to post a new and updated video of her weight loss journey progress since a new chapter is about to begin. After going on Medifast and losing over 200 pounds in under a year and having so much excess skin that just hung from her, she ended up gaining it all back because she could never get her weight to stabilize. I hope she'll look into metabolic typing and nourishing foods. She can bounce back!
click here or click below

BE served

I remember when I couldn't get my wheelchair up over the lip of the curb. The dip in the curb was designed for wheelchair access  but with that quarter inch concrete lip to wheel over I couldn't do it.

I backed up the wheelchair and charged at it.
I tried approaching it an an angle.
I was stuck.
Absurdly stuck with the back end of my wheelchair sticking out into the street,
I remember praying.
I cried a little, too.
Then a sturdy young guy in a mini van pulled over, hopped out and pushed me up onto the sidewalk.

Of course I thanked him profusely.
He no-problemed me and drove off.

In thinking back on that incident I wonder if he went home that night and told someone what he had done.
Or maybe he kept it to himself but had that warm sense of satisfaction for having helped someone.

I hope he did.
I hope the good deed didn't go one way and one way only: TO me.
I hope he got something FROM me too.
I hope helping me made him feel good.

Yesterday I felt run down.
My throat was scratchy.
I felt like I was coming down with something.
For most of the day I slept.

My ladyfriend who makes fantastic bone broth (click here)
had offered me some.
We had planned for me to stop over her place to pick it up yesterday or today.
Yesterday I was draggy and just not up to it
though I could have really used that broth!

Today I apologized for not making it over there yesterday.
I explained that I wasn't feeling well and that I had rested most of the day.

She told me she had felt droopy all day too.
She said she wished I had let her know I was home dragging around so she could have delivered the broth to me.
I told her I didn't want to be a bother.

But... but... but....she explained that she would have LOVED the opportunity to get out of the house to do something for someone else.
It wasn't a burden.
It would have been a blessing!

By not expressing that I was sick but still wanted the broth I deprived myself of the broth and deprived her of the opportunity to be of service.

I was trying not to be selfish by keeping my sicky-ness to myself when in fact keeping quiet was more selfish of me.

Sometimes we just have to learn to let others help us.
The gift of being helped is not a one way act.

I thought I learned that this summer!
Guess I'll have to learn to walk AND to let others be of service...again.

*Lisa's Video Pick of the Day*
It takes humility to serve and be served!

Bobbi Wallace, MPH, associate director of development at the UNC Gillings School of Global Public Health, describes her realization that service abroad requires humility and an open mind.
click here or click below

Not a SteepleJack

"Because almost everything 
- all external expectations, 
all pride, all fear of embarrassment 
or failure - 
these things just fall away in the face of death, 
leaving only what is truly important...

...Remembering that you are going to die 
is the best way I know to avoid the trap 
of thinking you have something to lose. 
You are already naked. 
There is no reason not to 
follow your heart."

 - Steve Jobs in his
Stanford University commencement address

I'm not a steeplejack.

I'm not built like a steeplejack
I don't have the skills of a steepljack.
I don't LOOK like a steeplejack.

I'm built for the work I do.

I read somewhere that if we want a snapshot of what we do with most of our time we can just look at our bodies.
I happen to sit a lot.
I also happen to think and write a lot.
The evidence is physical.

So why do folks like me compare ourselves to fitness trainers and supermodels?
Fitness trainers are lean, muscular, fit with great posture and a sturdy physique.
Supermodels are wispy, willowy, tall, practically fleshless so they don't distract from the clothes they're modeling.

I look like exactly what I do
AND
if I want to be different I have to act different.
If I'm happy with what I do then I can be happy with how I am.

Am I happy?

Ok, so I'm not thrilled with what I do with most of my time.
I wish I could add/subtract some activities from my life.
I wish I could spend my time a bit differently.

Thus, my body reflects that.
I wish I could add/subtract some shape from my body.

Makes sense.

If I want to change my body I'll have to change my life.

Maybe not a steeplejack.
I'm GLAD I'm not a steeplejack.
But I wouldn't mind being ______.
That's the blank I better fill in soon while I still have life left!!

*Lisa's Video Pick of the Day*
Maybe Paul Chek is right.
Maybe our bodies have to be in better shape so we can think better!
Thinkers are not necessarily shaped like disembodied heads on forgotten bodies.
Thanks for the reminder, Paul.
click here or click below

Beware the Green Check Mark!

"The point of the program is to make processed foods look healthy when you really want people eating foods that have been as minimally processed as possible," 

said Dr. Marian Nestle, a professor of nutritional studies at New York University.

- from Experts Say Industry Food Labels Deceptive (click here)

Dr. Michael Jacobson of the Center for Science in the Public Interest, "You could start out with some sawdust, add calcium or Vitamin A and meet the (Smart Choices) criteria."

- Food Industry is Now Calling Junk Food Healthy (click here)

Typical low-fat propaganda.

Folks think that if a food is made from grains and has less than 3 grams of fat per serving it must be a health food. Now the food industry is cashing in on this false teaching by labeling packaged foods with a green check mark.

Are we going to fall for this??

Proud to be part of Real Food Wednesdays! click here

Persist...again

Today I walked around at garage sales with no cane and no crutches.

I SHOULD be saying hooorayyyy!!

But no.

I was furious.

I can't believe I have to relearn how to walk.

Jeez.

I thought I handled this already.

I was walking on the track at the gym! (click here)

I was walking in Charleston! (click here)

Heck I jogged! (click here)

Now I'm taking limping, deliberate, slow steps just to get from one end of a driveway to another?

CRAP!!

What happened to running??

I SHOULD BE RUNNING.

I hate lack of progress...and yet.

If I stop being angry for a second and look, really LOOK at the progress I'm making, I'll see that I've gotten so much better mentally and physically.

Yet, I'm frustrated that I have to rehab myself ...again.

Take off one hundred pounds...again (a new one  hundred pounds not the original one hundred pounds...those stayed off, thank God).

Again, again, again.

Ugh!

What might be helpful is re-reading my old blog posts.

I've said that I'm going to read my past blogs but then I get caught up in whatever I'm doing at the moment (blogging, prepping for the six classes I'm teaching, etc) and I don't go back and read where I've been.

Perhaps I need to be reminded of how strong I am.

If I did it before I can do it again.

Good thing I wrote it all down so I have proof!

*Lisa's Video Pick of the Day*

I HAVE to persist.

What else would I do?

Abandon my "car" on the side of the road?

God bless Kelly for doing the business thing,

the family thing and the stuck in a car thing to get her closer to her goals!

(by the way when you do a search on YouTube for "persistence success" there are a dozen males that pop up before you get to ANY female talking about the subject. Wonder why that is? I deliberately chose a female :-)

click here or click below

Snacking and Bagging

"Frequent hunger is a sign that you are not feeling satisfied and are therefore not getting adequate nutritional requirements out of meals. The result is that you must supplement with something in addition to what you have already eaten...

...Because most people lack the time (and often the desire) to prepare something healthful, what ends up being eaten are foods with little to no nutritional value. Frequent eating helps to promote cravings in the body. Many people feed their cravings with unhealthy choices such as convenience foods or processed snacks loaded with hydrogenated, rancid oils and fats, refined sugars, and white flours. Eating these foods regularly can cause weight gain, irritability, fatigue, and headaches which lead to many other health disorders such as heart disease, auto-immune problems, diabetes, high-blood pressure, and cancer...

 

...When the body has not completed the digestive process, it cannot fully perform the task at hand to handle additional food coming in. This sets the stage for digestive and metabolic problems. Incoming food only gets partially-digested. As a result, the first batch of food in the digestive process begins to rot and becomes a source of toxins to the body."

- Is Eating Between Meals Healthy? (click here)

I used to be a guilty snacker.

Now I eat when my body signals that it needs fuel.

No guilt.

My food bag is with me whenever I know I'm going to be out of the house for a prolonged period of time (longer than 4 hours) and I keep "emergency protein money" in my car visor in case I'm on the road and I get the woozies from going too long without food.

Yesterday, a female student who happened to be menstruating said that she felt awful because she had just eaten a bag of Skittles. What was there to feel bad about? She was hungry. Her body was depleted. She needed quick energy. The food was cheap, quick and convenient. Not the greatest food choice but nothing to feel bad about. What was the option? Go hungry? Give the body nothing to work with?

It's bad enough that we choose food that's not the highest quality. We compound it with guilty feelings as it's still shawshanking its way down our digestive tracts trying to be digested! Bad after bad.

Better to admit that we needed a quick boost of energy.

We foraged for what was at hand.

We shouldn't waste time and energy feeling guilty about food.

We SHOULD anticipate being hungry and plan accordingly.

I used to fall into the trap of "hoping" I wouldn't be hungry till I got home.

I was in denial that my body needs food over the course of the day.

I'd leave the house with no food bag and little money.

Out in the world I'd become ravenous and end up eating whatever was closest.

At times the convenient food was so nutritionally poor it would end up starting a malnutritive cycle that ended in binge eating and passing out.

I needed to be at peace with my hunger.

I needed to be OK with eating.

Planning ahead is not something-that-special-folks-do.

It's not just for bariatric patients or folks in eating disorder recovery.

We all need to take care of ourselves!

We can't rely on fast food, convenience food or vending machines for our nutrition.

Well, we can  but we'll end up not feeling very well.

Right now I'm up at one of my colleges in a smart classroom between teaching classes.

I left my apartment at 7:15am knowing I would not get home till after 3:30pm.

Of course I packed a lunch bag filled with yellow bell peppers, Amish breakfast sausage, Amish bologna, raisins, turkey slices and some extra dark chocolate. (Yeah, I'm off the caffeine but I still cheat a little with some chocolate).

I'm nice and full.

I feel nourished and calm.

My blood sugar is even.

I have no interest in the dead food from the vending machines downstairs.

No need to snack.

I've eaten.

Thanks.

*Lisa's Video Pick of the Day*

Lisa La Barr is AFPA certified, a Weston A. Price Foundation member, and a personal nutritionist in Beverly Hills. She gives us a nice recipe for a delicious fermented food! Tastes great and is good for healthy digestion. Full of probioitcs!Tziki sauce. It's not just for gyros any more!

click here or click below

and then I stood....again

Crazy busy today and I still have to prep for classes tomorrow.
How am I doing this?
By the grace of God
and by my own will.

Today I stood.
For the first time in months I stood in the shower for the first half of my shower!
Ok, I sat for the second half but still.
Standing.
Again!
Woot!

And here I thought that sitting in the shower was a thing of the past.
When I was at my heaviest (around 400 lbs) I was unable to stand in the shower.
I had to sit on the tub ledge to wash myself (click here for my blog from 2006 about standing in the shower for the first time in years).
When I finally lost enough weight to be able to stand in the shower I rejoiced!
Never again would I be the shower sitter!
Never, never, never!
Then I ruptured my knee back in April 2008 and down I went,
sitting on the tub ledge again.

I was more than humbled.
I was discouraged.
I thought I had overcome that obstacle
and here I was facing it...again.
Instead of feeling more confident that I could once again rise to my feet,
I felt like I was being punished.
I thought tub-sitting was proof that I was a failure for not taking off all the weight right after surgery.
Sitting in the shower was some sort of indication that I'd never be well, that I was doomed to morbid obesity and all it's comorbid horrors for the rest of my life.

I doubted that I'd ever be well again.

I'm not sure what happened between yesterday and this morning.
Fact is I'm very tired.
If anything I should still be sitting in the shower out of sheer exhaustion.

Yet this morning I stood.

Then, 10 hours later,
at the end of my long work day,
I stood for the final 10 minutes of class.

I stood like I had two fully functional, perfectly healthy legs.
I paced.
I put my fists on my hips.
I told what I thought was a great story (about how I hurt my knee in the first place...click here for the story).

Miraculuous.
How, HOW in my tired state am I rising, literally rising, to this occasion?

Something must be working.
Something I'm doing must be producing good results.
Good thing I blog every day so I can see exactly what I did
to get me back on my feet again.

*Lisa's Video Pick of the Day*
Dr. Carolyn Myss says that we should not regard healing to be a return to any particular state of health but rather a CONSTANT. Maybe my sitting in the shower for the past few months was a reminder of that.
click here or click below

Can't See It? Say It!

"With words we can prophesy our own future. 
Unfortunately, many people predict

defeat, failure, lack and mediocrity. 
Avoid those kinds of comments 
and use your words to declare

good things. 
Declare health, 
joy, 
financial blessing, 
happy and whole relationships.
All through the day, you can declare, 
'I have the favor of God. 
I can do what I need to do.' 
As you do so, 
you will be blessing your won life 
and strengthening your self image."

- Joel Osteen

Even when I can't see it I say it.
Even when I don't believe it I do it.

Sometimes I picture my future. I envision being a best selling author and public speaker.
Yesterday I was picturing it in my mind.
I was traveling first class.
I had plenty of money,
lovely clothes,
energy,
a great attitude...and crutches.
Dammit.

Stupid crutches were in my vision!
I had to catch myself and rethink my vision.
I had to picture myself walking tall, strong, swift on healthy legs.
The crutches kept creeping back into my imagination.

Be gone, crutches, be gone!
I tried again.

Then I remembered how blocked I was when I weighed 400 pounds.
I had the same problem back then.
Every time I tried to imagine a future of strength and agility I saw myself sitting down. Standing was too much. Even the idea of standing on my own two feet tired me out let alone the reality of it.
But I overcame that.

A few months after my gastric bypass surgery (conversion from lap band to RNY in August 2006)
I was standing,
pacing,
walking,
power walking
and full of life!

Even though I had trouble seeing it when I was too fat to move,
my daily habits got me well beyond my limited vision.
I did what I had to do to get there.

I remembered that today.
I remembered how impossible it seemed back then.
I also remembered that sticking with a routine of wellness got me up on my feet.

Ok, so that routine had to be revised since my collapse into a wheelchair.
Hey, failure is just a way of finding a way that doesn't work.
Drastic low fat dieting and over exercising seemed to work in the short term.
Now I know better.
I did get a taste of what it's like to be up and full of life!

Just because I got knocked on my ass doesn't mean I'll never get up again.
Even if I have trouble seeing it,
if I say it,
and doing it,
I'm that much closer to being it.

I'm doing all the things I'm supposed to do.
All the ingredients of wellness are in the mix.

I know I'll get there again, better and stronger than before.

First class.
No crutches!


*Lisa's Video Pick of the Day*
The sound is a bit wonky but
the message is clear.
Tom Peters declares that Blogging changed his life!
Yeah, talking changes things.
The conversation creates the reality!
click here or click below

Dumping Syndrome pre AND post op

"Here is a trick to improve your digestion 
and help you eat less food, 
if you tend to overeat. 
Chew your food until it is liquid
in your mouth before swallowing. 
Digestion starts with the enzymes in the mouth, 
so the more you mix the food with saliva, 
and the more you break down the food 
with your teeth, 
the less work your stomach 
and digestive tract has to do...

...If you have 
any digestion issues, 
this can make 
a big difference.

...This will also slow down your meals, 
giving you the opportunity 
to enjoy the taste of the food, 
and may help you eat less, 
because you will feel satisfied 
before you have gulped down 
huge amounts of food... 

 

...It takes a while for the satiety center 
to send out the message 
that you have eaten enough, 
so if you eat quickly it is easy to eat too much 
before you get the signal. 
Then you suffer by feeling stuffed."

- from Paul Chek's  

"How to Eat Move and Be Healthy" 

Gastric Bypass patients can suffer from something called "dumping syndrome" if we eat too much or too fast or eat something we cannot tolerate (click here) but I remember suffering from dumping syndrome
BEFORE THE SURGERY.
Yep.
My binge eating was that bad.

Usually the symptoms of dumping syndrome are nausea, vomitting or pain.
A lesser discussed symptom is a racing heart beat.
I suffered all three BEFORE I ever had surgery.

The amount of food I ate before I had surgery was obscene.
I'd eat
whole pizzas washed down with diet soda,
boxes of Entemann's cakes,
tubs of onion dip with two bags of chips,
multiple value meals from the drive thru,
just an inhuman amount of food.

The aftermath was awful.
Pain, nausea,
dizzyness and the all too familiar rapid heart beat.

My heart would be so hard and so fast I thought I'd have a heart attack.
The over stuffed sensation was paralyzing.
There were times when I felt so sick I would pray to die.
I'd tell myself: Never again.
I'd pray to God that I'd never do it to myself again if only he'd get me out of the pain and slow down my heart.

This would happen one or more times per day.
That's why I looked for a drastic solution: weight loss surgery.

Getting the bypass bought me enough time to get on the path to wellness.
I'm very close to being completely well
but an old symptom still remains.

The oh-my-God-I-want-to-die feeling and rapid heart rate that comes with post-op dumping syndrome.
It doesn't necessarily take a lot of food to make it happen.
I dumped yesterday when I ate two tablespoons of peanut butter.

That's what happens if I wait too long to eat.
Hey, sometimes I'm just not hungry.
I'll go about my business with an empty stomach.
Then suddenly the ravenous hunger hits.
I panic.
I eat too much too fast and whammo!
I'm down on the sofa feeling like my heart will beat itself to death.

The peanut butter was lovely, made by hand crank on an Amish farm, as organic as can be, and fresh!
But peanut butter is a very dense food.
It takes a lot to break it down during digestion.
I SHOULD have eaten it very slowly and chew chew chewed it!
I didn't.
Instead I gulped it down, chasing it with cold milk.

Holy crap.
I thought I would die.
My heart was hammering at a shocking rate.
I could feel it beating in my ears.
I uttered the familiar words: Never again.
Never ever ever again.

When I eat I have to tell myself to slow down and chew!

That's not just a recommendation for bypassed folks.
We all need to chew our food.

Many of the digestive disorders people suffer from come from improperly chewed food entering our guts too fast.
Ever watch the average person at lunch time?
Gulp gulp then wash it down with something.
We're a nation of dumpers!

We gulp down big bites of food on the run and wash it down with soda or Snapple or some other drink.

That's what I used to do.
I paid the price in many ways for my hasty eating.
Now I know better but sometimes I still need to remind myself that digestion begins in the mouth.

If we want to get well we need to stop gulping and slurping and become a nation of chewers!

*Lisa's Video Pick of the Day*
Paul Chek tells us to chew our food down to a liquid.
Digestion begins in the mouth.
AND chewing our food lets our bodies imprint the food with our chi.
He's an expert and he's in phenomenal shape.
I believe him!
click here or click below

Dont' Hold Your Breath!

"The key to deep breathing 

is to begin to learn to sense unnecessary tension 

in our bodies 

and to learn how to release this tension. 

This requires great inner attention 

and awareness. 

It requires learning the art of self-sensing 

and self observation. 

A beneficial work with deep breathing

begins with increasing our internal awareness..

...full, complete self-observation 

ultimately depends on being open 

to a higher energy,

a higher consciousness, 

we were also told that it begins with voluntarily 

 putting whatever attention is available to us 

on our own somatic state at the moment... 

 

... only when our ordinary attention 
is actively occupied 
with experiencing the present moment 
that the higher energy of awareness can appear, 
an awareness that relates us simultaneously 
to our inner and outer worlds... 

...the starting point must be 
the overall sensation of the body. 
It is through this sensation, 
a kind of three-dimensional perceptual backdrop, 
that we can discern the various movements 
and energies of our own inner functions. 
Without the stability of this sensation, 
our efforts at self-observation 
will quickly turn into identification 
with whatever thoughts, 
feelings, 
daydreams, 
and so on."

-  Dennis Lewis in Gurdjieff and Self-Observation

I tend to hold my breath when I'm tense,
or impatient,
or angry,
or in pain,
or exerting myself.

It's my go-to defense of cringing against something I wish wasn't happening.
I hold my breath,
brace myself,
wait for the awful thing to stop.
Sometimes the awful thing is one of my own thoughts like
"omg I have to make copies for tomorrow"
or
"crap I forgot to buy stamps"

Hold breath.
Panic.

I've been catching myself doing that.
Every time I catch myself holding my breath I take a long deliberate deep breath
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin through my nose.
I count as I go trying hard to inhale for longer than 5 seconds,
really pushing my lungs to take in more air.
Then I exhale hard trying to push my belly button toward my back.

It works.
I always feel better instantly.
My head clears a bit too.
I feel more grounded and able to handle whatever it was that was panicking me.

Along with the breathing I might say something to myself like,
"Everything is going to be ok."
or
"I can handle it. One task at a time it will all get done."

I've had to do it about a dozen times today already.

Most aspects of life are beyond our control.
We can't control other people, that's for sure.
We can't control time.
We can't control the elements.
But...and everyone loves a big BUTTTTT....
we CAN control our breath!

Sometimes I imagine light coming into my body from the sun or the stars.
I picture tingly white energy coming into my body and putting me in harmony with the heavens.

One breath at a time.
One task at a time.
Everything is ooooo kayyyyyy.

*Lisa's Video Pick of the Day*
The article from Dennis Lewis (of Authentic Breathing click here) that I quoted today talks about the work of someone called Gurdjieff. I'd never heard of Gurdjieff before so I looked him up on YouTube and found this.
Pretty mind blowing stuff!
click here or click below

Dietary Advice niche

A top eating disorders information website refused to include my blog in its links section (the section that has links to people's blogs and their personal stories). My blog will not be included in their links because I give "dietary advice".

Un be f*cking lievable.

You're damn straight I give dietary advice.
That's how I'm overcoming my eating disorder!!
It's the food, dammit!
Binge eating disorder is not just an emotional eating problem. It's physical.
Getting detoxed and getting rid of the inflammation caused by the SAD (Standard American Diet) is key to overcoming overeating. But then again the idea that overeating is an eating disorder is a newer idea. Folks feel sorrier for super skinny starving folks than they do fat depressed folks. I'm not surprised by the snub. Really.

Promoting my blog has been a challenge for me because I don't fit into categories.
This is not the first time I've been shunned by the eating disorders community.
They don't like the word "Skinny" in the title of my blog.
That's understandable for folks with body dysmorphism and anorexia.
I get it. But it's a frikken play on words!
According to WordNetWeb from Princeton "The Skinny = confidential information about a topic or person; "he wanted the inside skinny on the new partner"
Sigh

Ok. Eating Disorders sites are out.

How about Bariatric Surgery?
Gastric Bypass?
Gastric Banding?
Well those sites sure as hell don't want to promote my blog.
I'm NOT pro-surgery.
I've had nightmarish experiences with the lap band (click here) 
I'm anti-protein shake.
I believe we need to eat our protein rather than drink a chemically modified franken-powder that all the gastric sites seem to promote.
I haven't lost all my weight.
I don't fit in with the Yay Rah for surgery crowd.

How about Real Foodies?
Possibly.
I am getting healthy and strong with nourishing traditional foods.
I'm Yah Rah for Weston A. Price.
Every time I participate in one of the Real Food blog carnivals my hits go through the roof.
But the fact that I've had multiple weight loss surgeries might put people off.
It doesn't fit with the natural lifestyle even though I'm recovering from the surgeries and all the damage they've done to my body by eating real food. I'm not a perfect fit there either.

I'm not ready to be part of the Fitness community.
I'm still working on raising my arms up over my head every morning without wanting to cry.
I'll get there but not today.

I don't know.
Maybe I don't need a niche.
Maybe I'm my own niche with a little something to offer different folks from plenty of other niches.

As long as I keep writing
I'll figure out the rest as I go.

*Lisa's Video Pick of the Day*
"Branding is a state of mind.
Branding is about excitement.
Branding is about creativity." says Tom Peters.
Hmmm.
Well, I AM excited!
click here or click below

Adrenal Fatigue: Recover and Rejoice!

Proud to be part of Real Food Wednesdays!

click here

Christian, the world's cutest kitten, helps his Mama 

come back to life just by being his cute kitten self!

Christian (aka Baron Deepus von Deepy Deepy 
or Deepers) 

watches Family Guy!

He's my lil' Deepers.

It's been almost 4 months since I discovered I had moderate to severe adrenal fatigue.
Although I expect it to take a year to recover completely, I'm starting to come back to life after only 4 months!
Well, that's one third of a year...so...yeah.
Makes sense.

What am I doing to recover?
I'm seeing a great nutritionist/trainer (click here) who started me doing the following:

Sleep
I'm sleeping more.
I nap unapologetically.
I get to bed before midnight.
If I have to wake up at 5am then I'm in bed by 10pm.
Even if I'm not sleepy, I put myself to bed.
If I can't fall asleep I do deep breathing and visualization till I conk out.

Food
I eat grass-fed meats, raw milk and raw butter, organic vegetables and very few grains. I only eat grains maybe once or twice a week, tops.
I eat small mini-meals 4 to 6 times per day with protein being the main component of every meal.
I've eliminated artificial sweeteners, diet sodas, caffeine, bread, pasta rice, flour, sugar and soy (Yes, soy is bad. Click here to find out why!)
80% of my food comes from a local, organic farm.

Supplements
I'm taking probiotics, minerals, high vitamin cod liver oil, virgin coconut oil, adrenals (click here), and will be taking bio-identical hormone replacements as soon as tests reveal which ones I need.

Deep Breathing
10 times a day or more I pause to take a deep breath.
I'll breath in deeply through my nose filling up my lungs all the way, then breath in MORE thereby expanding my lungs.
If I'm really intentional I'll imagine my body filling up with light as I inhale and expelling toxins when I exhale.

Movement
I'm learning about Working In (click here for more about Working-In from the hero of healing, Paul Chek)
and intermittently doing nourishing "moves" to replenish my body and spirit from the time I wake up to the time I hit the pillow.


Self Talk
Dwelling on my illness was only making me depressed. I catch myself saying negative things to myself and deliberately replace any negativity with positive words of praise, encouragement, and positive visualizations for the future as I grow in health and success.

Blogging
Every day. I keep myself accountable. I know I won't lie to my readers about how I'm doing. I won't hide out. I talk about recovery honestly and daily. I acknowledge that I'm improving. I share what's working for me and what's not with my readers.

I've  been consistent with these efforts.
I should not be surprised when these positive changes pay off!
Yet, I'm always surprised when good things happen for me.
That's a mindset I'm working on changing.

I expect good things
and receive good things!

That's what I'm telling myself.


*Lisa's Video Pick of the Day*
I have a small kitchen but I still cook!
No more microwave either. It's gone.
In it's place is a nice crock  pot and a juicer.
Here's what fitness expert Donna Sonkin of GetThinForTheCamera
keeps in her kitchen.
click here or click below








.

Beep Beep Beep It's Doctor Sleep

Better a short blog than no blog at all.

What's great about working so hard and being really disciplined?
This time around I'm not overcompensating with caffeine and carbs.
By not caffeining and carbing my self into fight or flight mode I can actually rest when I rest.
My naps are efficient.
I wake up refreshed.

A short nap is better than a mug of coffee.

But I had to work to get to this place.
I had to see a future when I would not need caffeine and carbs then sacrifice to make it happen.

Over the summer I dragged myself along.
I craved the pick me ups.
I wanted the coffee.
I wanted the starchy foods.

Now, I eat well. Get to bed early.
Nap when I need to
and I don't give in to the carb cravings.
Why?
I know the cravings are really about my body needing to refuel.

How do I refuel?
Sometimes deep breathing recharges me.
Sometimes my high fat *(click here) high protein food recharges me.
Sometimes it's a nap.

Right now?
It's nap time.

Getting well means knowing when to push yourself and knowing when to plug yourself into the wall charger for more battery life.

Battery charging...beep...beep...beep.

*Lisa's Video Pick of the Day*
There was a time when I thought I had a Yang deficiency (click here).
Turns out I needed higher quality Yin!
First of the Last Four Doctors You'll Ever Need is
Dr. Quiet.
Shhhhhhh.
The Doctor is In.
click here or click below

more work, more time!

Sitting here between classes eating
Zukay fermented relish (click here) with a plastic knife,
I'm wondering why I just said YES to teaching a sixth class this semester (it's actually for the Winter trimester from November to January).

I'm supposed to be launching books, DVDs and a fabulous website and instead I'm taking on more teaching commitments.
WHY?

Because the busier I am the more energy I have.
The more commitments I have the more organized I am.
The more out-in-the-world I am the more motivated I am to follow my dreams.

It's a paradox.
For sure.

*Lisa's Video Pick of the Day*
The author of Yoga for Depression (Broadway Books) leads you through a centering meditation that includes Yogic Three-Part Breathing (Dirga), Ocean-Sounding Victory Breath (Ujjayi), and mantra chanting. Let Amy guide you to align your heart's will with the will of the universe.
click here or click below

better to struggle

Ok, so I did a full week of teaching and it didn't kill me.
I knew it wouldn't kill me, but you wouldn't know it by how I cranky I was about it for the three weeks prior to the fall semester.

I was off,
on vacation,
free from worry (but I wasn't).

Getting out of my comfort zone of summer moping was not easy.
It shouldn't be easy.
If life was always easy it wouldn't produce much growth.



Think about planting a seed.
We push it into the earth, cover it with soil and water it.
After a few days we look at it and feel sorry for it.
Poor little seed has to push its way up through all that soil.
We can pity it from above.
We can uncover it.
We can move the soil out of the way so the poor little seed-sprout won't have to struggle up through all that bothersome soil.

But if we take the dirt off of it the seed won't grow.
It needs to be buried under all that soil.
It needs to push it's way up out of the darkness into the sunlight.
If we move the dirt out of the way to save it from struggling the seed that won't grow.
Better to struggle and grow, yes?

I'm more motivated now than I was those last three weeks of summer.
The last three magical weeks of summer were SUPPOSED to be for writing my book proposal, working on a website, coming up with a business plan and all the other magical things that I was putting off till my summer classes were over.

The classes ended.
Three weeks off.
I rested.
I moped.
I did some stuff but not nearly what I wanted to do.

Now that I'm in extreme omg I'm so busy I must catch naps in the car between commitments mode?
Suddenly I'm motivated.
Go figure.

I guess sometimes the pressure helps us to grow.
Without the struggle we aren't made strong enough to push up toward the light.

So far the hard work has done me good.
I'm not collapsing,
I'm not depressed,
I'm not even that stressed.
I was MORE stressed worrying about the semester than I am now that I'm knee deep in it.

Looks like I needed that soil.

*Lisa's Video Pick of the Day*
Could YOU jump off a building and rappel down the side? Michelle Yozzo Drake has! She shares that inspirational story of how she's used the power she felt after facing her worst fear to overcome life's obstacles.
click here or click below

Mood and Movement

"Breathing
and the mind
mirror each other."
- Paul Chek

You ever hear something really simple that really changes you??
I did.

I woke up this morning with the enemy rattling around in my head.
While I was still lying in bed it was telling me
how tired I am,
how I'd never be able to handle teaching 5 classes,
how I'm too fat to hold up my own body,
how I'm weak,
lazy,
how I hate my work,
how uninspired I am...blah blah blah blah blah.

Shut up!
You're making me miserable!
Sure my circumstances have plenty of room for improvement but the constant
negative harping from my chatter brain was making it worse.

I knew I had to do something to shut it off.
I took a deep breath and started to stretch,
arms above my head,
knees to my chest,
leg lifts,
all the while telling myself that today was going to be a great day.
I told myself that my love for life was coming back stronger every minute.
I told myself that autumn is the best time of year for taking on new commitments,
that the crisp air and sunshine would help me along.

I imagined white light coming into my body with every inhale.
Healing light and healing breath washed into me from a vibrant universe.

The nattering voice persisted but faded.

Time to get out of bed.
My kitten's min-litter pan needed cleaning. It's in an odd corner of the bathroom so I had to really stretch to sweep up the spilled litter, wipe the floor, feed him, and change his water.
I breathed and moved. I felt my muscles coming back to life after a summer of scrunched up depression.

Had I been cleaning his area all along?
Yes.
But there's a difference between doing chores in a scrunched up state and doing chores with intention and deep breathing.
The latter is actually good for you!
I felt better.

Not wanting to lose my momentum I came into the kitchen and looked for a Paul Chek video to watch (scroll down for today's video pick of the day) and because Paul Chek is the man he delivered exactly what I needed: the killer line.

Breathing
and the mind
mirror each other.

I took a nice deep breath then inhaled some more to really expand my lungs.

It made perfect sense.

I'd been in such pain for so many months I'd let my physical circumstances shut me down.
My breathing was scrunched up and shallow.
Even though I haven't used the wheelchair in over a month my mind was still curled over in that wheelchair seat with a sore butt struggling to get from place to place.
My breathing was timid and hurt punctuated by a few deep breaths but not enough.

It wasn't until I was fed up with feeling injured that I shut off the injured voice and breathed a new one to life.
The breathing and positive thinking kept me buoyant till about 6pm today when I crashed for a nap.

Now I'm awake with a few hours to prep for 3 classes tomorrow.
I'll be up at 5am to start my day tomorrow.

First thing I'll tell myself?
It's good to be alive.
I love my life.
Today is going to be a great day.
And even if I don't believe it, my body will.

*Lisa's Video Pick of the Day*
Paul speaks to a sold out audience Price Pottenger Nutrition Foundation in San Diego, CA about some of the core principles of his at very popular book "How To Eat Move and Be Healthy".
Visit http://www.chekinstitute.com for Paul's speaking schedule, to browse his accredited home study courses, a listing of CHEK practitioner in your area or simply to read one of Paul's dozens of published articles.
Did I mention??
Paul Chek is the man!!
click here or click below

Results not Typical

"I worked really hard
to lose all my weight quickly.
I get really pissed
when new postops don't do the same.
They continue to eat portions
that are large (for a gastric patient),
eat sugar,
and won't cut the carbs.
I want to say
'When you stop losing weight
or gain your weight back,
don't ask me for help.'
Sorry asses.
But then my good side kicks in,
and I feel sorry for those people
because they are addicted to food,
held in bondage to it.
Maybe I'm mad cause sometimes
that's still me."
- from Weighty Secrets
(click here)

I wonder if anyone has written a book called "Results Not Typical" about the down-side of weight loss surgery? Let me Google it.

There's a blog called Results Not Typical by a woman who lost 60 pounds on Weight Watchers and kept it off for four years. I'd read it but I'm sure I'll get lots of low-fat calorie counting nonsense and I'm not in the mood to get angry right now.

There's a great blog post from the Cat Slave Diary blog called Results Not Typical where evidence based weight loss methods are assessed. Here's what it says in response to an article in New Science magazine on Bariatric Surgery:

"Bariatric surgery.
This forces you to eat less.
It works, but you can still undermine it.
There’s no “Results Not Typical”
disclaimers with this path.
Often seen as the easy way out
as you have no choice but to eat less
or you’ll throw up.
The author beings up
“lack of fortitude”
in dieters,
and obviously this is a failing
of more than 90% of us.
Bariatric surgery gives you fortitude
– you have no choice."
(click here)

Wow.
Another overweight person beating themselves up because they gained back all their weight after dieting.
I've got news for the world.
It ain't lack of fortitude that's keeping us fat.
It's lack of respect for mother nature.
It's lack of nutrition.
It's the multi billion dollar diet industry conspiring to make us think we're weak while they feed us faux food and urge us to deprive ourselves of the healthy fats we need to be healthy.
It's...dont' even get me started.

There's a post called "Results Not Typical: Fuck Those Skinny Bitches" on Now: Power for the metaphysical war blog (click here).
The writer discusses the societal privileges that come with having a fit body.

"No, I don't mean to blame Hollywood for my fat, lethargy or for my general failure to look how I want - at least not completely. There are whole conglomerates of businesses that make money off of people's misery from their inadequacies and I accept that that's probably not going to change anytime soon. What I'm going to do, yet again, is look within."

Googling around I found a few more blogs with entries titled Results Not Typical but
I don't see a book by that title.
Kinda catchy for a book title, yes?
"Results Not Typical: Still fat after weight loss surgery"

Sure all the smug post-ops who lost most or all of their weight and are following the prescribed post op life to the letter (drinking shakes and eating packaged processed food that's supposedly made just for bariatric folks)
will tell me how I didn't do things right.
They'll say
I didn't drink my shakes.
I didn't drink my water.
I didn't eat my protein (I was pretty much eating vegetarian right after the bypass).
I didn't do this that and this.
I know.
I know.
I get it.

But that seems to be the only response out there.
Folks who fail or don't get the results they wanted from bariatric surgery are blamed
shamed
and
defamed
by the smug shake-drinking post ops who got to their goal weight and now believe they can shake their fingers at folks like me who did not reach their goal in the first 2 years after surgery.

Well, wag all you want.
I'm still telling my story.

I'm glad I'm still Halfway to Skinny.
If I had taken off all my weight lickety split I wouldn't have discovered Weston A. Price.
I'd still be burning out my adrenals with over exercising and caffeine.
I'd still be malnourishing myself on a low fat diet high in whole grains.

My mother still doesn't get it (she turned 86 today so she's allowed to not get it...lol).
I drank half a bottle of flavored Aqua Fina in front of her.
I was so thirsty and it was at hand.
I made a comment about how my nutritionist would be unhappy with me for drinking it.

"Why? How many calories are in it?" she asked.

"None" I replied, "but that's not the point. This flavored water contains unpronounceable ingredients and the devil sucralose". (click here)

"How many calories are in it?" she insisted.

"None. But that doesn't mean it's good for you. Just because it has no calories doesn't mean it's healthy. It's full of chemicals..."
She tuned me out.

No one wants to hear how their beloved artificial sweeteners, especially the yellow packets (supposedly safer than the pink or blue ones but they're all shit), are screwing up their blood sugar and keeping their body in a toxic state that inhibits their ability to burn fat.

Well, I shouldn't say NO ONE wants to hear it.
Someone is reading this!

Looks like I won't be shutting up any time soon.

*Lisa's Video Pick of the Day*
Here's another professional loudmouth with some interesting information
about female consumers.
Tom Peters, a self-described "professional loudmouth" who has been compared to Emerson, Whitman, Thoreau and H.L. Mencken, declares war on the worthless rules and absurd organizational barriers that stand in the way of creativity and success.
click here or click below

it could work

"I am failing.
Miserably.
I am who I was
a few years ago,
pre-op,
and I DON'T KNOW
HOW TO STOP.
Nor do I know
how to ask for help."
- Weighty Secrets (click here)

"Lisa, thank you for this post
and for not taking it down.
I want you to know that 2.5 years later
it was something that really resonated with me...
I'm finally where I want to get some help
and your blog post was very helpful to me.
Thank you and keep blogging."
- Comment I received TODAY
on a blog I posted over 2 years ago
(click here)

Ok, universe.
I hear you.
Time to pursue my dreams.
Damn the naysayers.
Damn playing it safe.
Damn thinking I need to be perfect before I can help other people.

Bless me going into the world as my own boss.
Will I still teach?
Sure, but not because I HAVE to.

What will I do?
I'm rolling out a website, two books and a private practice.

Do I have a plan?
I have enough of one to start taking steps.

Do people really need help?
By the looks of things on support forums and other places online,
I'd say yes.
There are plenty of folks who need compassionate care,
hypno-counseling,
self-esteem building
and whatever inspiration I can give them.

Yesterday I blogged about not fitting in with the normies.
I wondered where my niche really is.

Where do I fit in?
Under my own shingle that says
I'M IN

A family member asked me today,
"What if it doesn't work?"

I said that LOTS of things don't work.
Plenty of doctors fail to help people get well and we still go back to them.
We even give them the exulted title of My Doctor.

Hey, plenty of things DO work.
That's why practitioners get many of their clients from referrals.

I'm not worried.
You know that old expression that says we should do what we are gifted to do
and the money will come?
I have a feeling that expression is true.

And thank you for leaving me the comments that give me the confidence to pursue this.
And if you don't leave comments, thank you for reading.
I feel the vibe.
I am grateful.

*Lisa's Video Pick of the Day*
"...it's always better to try a swan dive
and deliver a colossal belly flop
than to step timidly off the board
while holding your nose."
click here or click below

fitting in

I'd rather be weird than be normal.
It's probably hard-wired into me from childhood.
My mother was overprotective of me. She didn't let me socialize with other kids too often.
She was my closest model for behavior. My mother, old movies and the TV.
No wonder I was odd.

But thank God that I'm odd or I wouldn't be who I am.
I was the kid who got picked on in school, the most enthusiastic hand-raising smart kid (there were smarter kids than I but none were more excited), the one who liked to perform, the one who stood out enough to draw the attention of the tougher, more popular "normies" who seemed to really enjoy bullying me.

They were the bucket crabs.
You know that one, right?
If you go crabbing and you put the first crab in the bucket you have to put a lid on the bucket so it won't crawl out. Once you throw another crab in there you can leave the lid off the bucket.
Why?
Cuz when one crab tries to escape the other will pull him back in.
At least that's how the story goes.
I've never been crabbing, but I have heard many motivational speakers tell that story as a way to demonstrate a truth about human nature.

Normies don't like folks who try to escape the mainstream unless -
and everyone likes a big UNLESS...

the weirdos,
oddballs,
think-outside-the-box folks
are in the field of entertainment or up in front of the room somehow.

Think-outside-the-boxies must keep their place on the outside. Get too close and the normies will let you know you've wandered into their territory and make it clear that you are unwelcome.

Outside the boxies are fun to have around once in a while,
as a spectacle but they won't get a daily place at the family dinner table (and I mean that both literally and as a metaphor).

Anyone who's been "different" will recognize this pattern of behavior.
Any child who had to rebel against their parents to pursue their dream career
or marry outside their religion
or to be openly gay will understand.

Gaeity is an excellent example.
Think about Nathan Lane in The Birdcage.
Look at all the normies who enjoyed that film.
Oh how cute that Nathan Lane is with his flamboyant drag queen behavior, right.
But if one of their sons came home in a dress and announced he was gender queer
suddenly that might not be so cute.


Difference is fun to marvel at but it's not encouraged in mainstream society.
That's why it's called mainstream society I guess.

What makes me bring this up?

I'm learning to accept my role as an outside the boxy.
I'm starting to see it as an advantage.

I've always had a hard time fitting in.
The closest I've come to finding a niche was in higher education where professors are expected to be quirky, opinionated and eccentric,
and even there I've had a hard time.

I was too weird for the student affairs end of things
and not research-oriented enough for the academic end of things.
My area is the classroom.
Might as well just call it a stage.

The wacky, quirky, center-of-attention thing is what I do best.
I'm learning to embrace that.
I don't want to fight it any longer.
I don't have to.

So who are the crabs trying to pull me into the bucket?
I can't get into detail here. I don't name names in this blog nor will I glorify any bullies by giving them detailed attention.

Let's just say the ones who think I'm crazy are doing me a favor.
They just make me try harder to get out of the bucket.

And thank God I'm a weirdo!
Let's see how I make that work in my favor.

*Lisa's Video Pick of the Day*
Tom Peters, author of Re-Imagine (one of my favorite books ever)
talks about how we beg for yet stifle creativity in this society.
He's made a living teaching folks how to think outside the box.
He says normies are the ones who "buy the act" or "color within the lines".
No great thing was ever accomplished by coloring within the lines.
click here or click below

will blog later. In the meantime, read this...

"If being lean were simply a matter of being disciplined
- usually defined as eating less -
there would be very few obese people in America.
People don’t eat because they’re gluttonous
or compensating for a lousy childhood.
They eat because their cells run out of fuel
and they become hungry.
Starving yourself may work temporarily,
but it goes against your deepest,
most primal instincts.
It can also depress your metabolism
and make it more likely you’ll gain weight
when you finally give in to the hunger and eat more."
- Tom Naughton in
"Hating Fat People is Bologna" (click here)

step crutch heal!

Today was what I've been referring to as "Hell Day" in my mind for the past few weeks.
Today was my first Friday of the semester.
I teach all three classes on Friday beginning at 8am. That means I had to wake up at 5am today.
My first-day-of-teaching anxiety kept me from sleeping well last night. I woke up 3 times during the night.

Still, I was able to wake up on time and stay bright eyed throughout the day, although I expected to crash as soon as I was finished.

Guess what?
I left work at 3:30pm and I still haven't napped (it's now 7:30pm).
Hell Day was not as Hellish as I'd anticipated.

AND I did it without stimulants.
I've been clean for months.
Even on Hell Day I held up by doing deep breathing, positive thinking and eating some well prepared food from my lunch bag.

Walking on campus?
Not as bad as I'd anticipated
and I did A LOT of walking!

I used the crutches but rather than stay off the ruptured knee,
I put weight on the ruptured knee.
Rather than crutching with the injured leg up off the ground I used the leg with support from the crutches.

BIG difference.
It takes me longer, like 3 times longer, than normal walking but my leg doesn't hurt right now.
Using the leg WITH the crutches is making it stronger where as keeping off it entirely wasn't helping me get strong. Staying off it entirely helped it to mend but now I need a strong leg. Major mending over. Rehabilitation beginning!

Using it will make it stronger. Using it with crutches feels therapeutically productive.

I am therapeutically productive.
Woot!

As usual, I worried for nothing.
Maybe I'll learn not to worry so much.

I hope the rest of the semester goes as well as it went today.
And why shouldn't it?

I'm telling myself the truth: every day in every way I get better and better!

*Lisa's Video Picks of the Day*
Are worry and intuition different?
Of course.
Worry is a product of the linear mind!
Intuition is the still small voice.
Worry is not still or small!
Listen to Dr. Judith Orloff.
click here or click below

voodoo that I do

"Your father needs
some spoon fudge."
- my ladyfriend D when she delivered
some homemade bone broth to me today

Why Spoon Fudge??
It's the coconut oil.
It heals everything.
Raw butter, too.
These healthy oils ease aches, pains, arthritis and inflammation.

Some topical things work too.

I brought my father some Frankincense oil to put on his knee. He's had arthritis for many years. He had one knee replaced and never went back to have the other one replaced. He's still in pain.

Since I've been doing well with my healing oils I thought he might also benefit from rubbing the frankincense oil on his knee to bring warmth to the area (click here for more info).

I went to visit him yesterday to teach him how to use it.

"Hold out your hand, Dad," I told him as I tapped a few drops into his palm,
"Now breathe in as you rub it on your knee."

"Breathe it in?" he was incredulous, "sounds like some kinda Voodoo!"

I wanted it to seem less strange so I came up with a more familiar example.
I asked him what the Wise Men brought the baby Jesus when they visited him in his manger.

"I don't know, I wasn't there!" he answered.

Funny, my Dad is.
I scolded him, "If Frankincense was good enough for the baby Jesus it's good enough for you!"

"Well, I wanna hear what he has to say about that," he answered.

sigh

I told him to rub it on his knee at least twice a day.
He agreed that rubbing the knee is probably good for pain.

Rubbing is good.
That's what he believes.
He could be rubbing Johnson's Baby Oil on his knee for all he cares.
He believes that the act of rubbing his knee is the thing that will help him.
The Frankincense?
Just plain Voodoo.

I reminded him that our bodies are big fleshy sacks of chemicals, not chemicals like Clorox necessarily, but substances that react to other substances. Certain substances combine to cause certain effects. Water on a chemical burn will make it worse while vinegar will neutralize it.
Action, reaction.
Simple.

Frankincense rubbed on achy joints has been working for years.
It's an ancient remedy.

I told him he needed to take at least a teaspoon of real butter every day, too.
I said I'd only give him some if he promised to take it since I pay $11 a tub for it.
He said Nah.

Good thing Dr. Ron's Ultra Pure sells High Vitamin Butter Oil (click here).
My Dad is of the mindset that healing comes in a pill.
How can food be medicinal?
He wonders.

He thinks I'm nuts but he also thinks that if we BELIEVE in something strongly enough our minds will make it happen. He'll admit to the placebo effect but not that food can heal.
Well, at least he believes in belief.
He understands the power of the mind.
Smart my father.
Smart and funny.

BUT and everyone loves a big butt....he's a pessimist.
He knows our minds are powerful but he doesn't use his to make himself feel better.
He thinks life is tough and unpleasant.
I know, I know, look who's talkin' right?
lol

Hey, maybe he want's to feel exactly the way he feels.
Maybe his chemical make-up is accustomed to (addicted to?) feeling like crap.
Maybe he's perfectly comfortable even in his discomfort.

Today I'm anxious.
Not only am I anxious, I'm annoyed that I'm anxious.
My stress level is off the charts.

Can I control that?
Sure, if I put my mind to it, but I'm not going to.
Something inside me WANTS to feel anxious and annoyed about it.

The anxiety is motivating and
being annoyed is a reminder that I can change my life circumstances.
If I'm unhappy the burden is on me to change things.

Rather than wallowing in my moods I'm using them to get me going!

My moods are my little soldiers that keep me on course.

That's one way to look at it.
That's all reality is anyway.
Our reality is our way of looking at stuff.

*Lisa's Video Pick of the Day*
We can LEARN to have a better attitude.
Circumstances push us into what ever beliefs we need to make our visions real.
Lucy Shuker is doing it from a wheelchair on the tennis court!!
click here or click below

by me

Queen of Louisiana: ...there's nothing you can't do and every time you do,
it just brings you one step closer to the divine.

Vampire Bill: Isn't that delusional?


Queen of Louisiana: Never underestimate the power of blind faith.
It can manifest in ways that bend the laws of physics
or break them entirely.


Today's the day, the last day of vacation.
I start teaching tomorrow.
My energy was pretty high today.
Why?

For one thing it's the start of the new semester so the anxiety is keeping me buoyant.
More significant is what I'm telling myself.
Positive self talk?
Yes, that's a big part of it.

I'm telling myself this will be a wonderful semester,
that I'll be fine,
better than fine,
that I'll have energy to teach my 5 classes
spread out at three different colleges,
that with deep breathing and prayer I will be able to keep my energy up without caffeine
or stimulants.

Actually doing the deep breathing today helped A LOT!
(click here for Vahdaneh Vahid's breathing and working IN exercises for stimulating energy!)

Being super careful with my carb to protein ratio during the day is also crucial.
I ate an avocado salad with black beans and some real farm cottage cheese for late lunch.
Then
I passed out for an hour and a half on the sofa with my head hanging down like Al Bundy.

Protein first, fats next, carbs last. Must eat that way for energy!!!

There's very little margin for error this semester teaching five classes and doing a weekly workshop!

But what REALLY got me going today??
I understood that my life
right now,
as it is,
with all this work to do
while recovering from adrenal fatigue
and healing a ruptured knee...
this busy semester
is
exactly
what
I
want.

For all my complaining you'd think I didn't really want all this, right?

Discomfort motivates me.
I'm reeeeeeally uncomfortable having to walk on crutches out in the world on three different campuses.

I'm SO out of my comfort zone having to get up at 5am twice a week for an 8am class.

I'm reeeeeeally uncomfortable having to work so hard at seasonal, part time, so-so paying jobs.

The discomfort will motivate me to change.
Being uncomfortable will motivate me to get healthier,
become more able and to develop as an entrepreneur.

An added bonus is that getting up and out into the world is good for me.
My ass already hurts less today because I've been more active.

I actually put air in my tires today!
Sure my knee hurts now, but still,
I had the gumption to do it and I did.

Before today I felt forced into my current situation.
Granted, I was the one who had made the choices that got me here
at this weight,
in this body,
with this knee,
with these jobs.
I know
I know
I know
that where I am today is the result of my actions and my choices.
I get that.

What I realized is that even though I'm not 100% happy with my current situation I acknowledge that it's part of the necessary steps to get me where I'm going.

Without the knee to work through I wouldn't end up being ______.

If I hadn't had to work part time at three schools to make ends meet I wouldn't have the gumption to _________.

If I was never morbidly obese even after gastric bypass surgery I'd never be able to ____.

See what I mean?
Without my struggles I'd never be able to fill in the blanks!

Look at Tony Robbins.
Would his story be nearly as interesting if he hadn't been a janitor early in his life?

Look at anyone who's ever recovered from any serious or chronic illness.
Would we care about Jordan Rubin if he had created Garden of Life products in a lab without every having recovered from Crohns? (click here)

Folks who go from a to b without a struggle are boring...or fictional...or irritating...but especially they're unrelate-able.

Who can relate to someone who's never hit bottom, or failed or made crazy mistakes on their way to success?

So this is all part of my story.
This discomfort was created by me so that I can create who I will be.

So here I am now exactly where I want to be...for now.
My choice.
My doing.

*Lisa's Video Pick of the Day*
Here he is, the great Jordan Rubin!
He gives us the 7 Keys to Health and Fitness.
Why would I listen to him?
He's been sick, near death and discovered a way to recover.
Docs couldn't help him when he was skin and bones with Crohn's.
And it's kinda cool that he's combined religion and fitness.
What's not to love?
click here or click below

I am the kitten

My cousin reminded me that I do this every semester.
I get myself all worked up with worry over my work load, then two weeks into the semester I'm flying high.
The only time my worries have actually come true was this summer when I was working through an injury.
The summer semester felt like a burden till the last day.

Every other semester?
Once I meet my students I feel fine.
Thinking of them gets me out of bed in the morning even if I'm depressed.
My commitments keep me going.

It's been easy for me these past 3 weeks since my summer courses ended.
My life has not placed many demands on me physically.
I haven't used the crutches or the wheelchair because I haven't had to.

The tasks I've been doing have involved short bursts of short distance walking.
Granted I did too much on Saturday.
I did lots of shopping for my mother, carried stuff,
walked with only a shopping cart to lean on.
I kinda hammered my knee.

In response my knee has been angry.
Even with an angry knee I haven't needed to use the crutches or the wheelchair...
until today.

My knee shouted ENOUGH and I had to listen.
When I shopped at the Rite Aid just now I used the crutches.
I had to walk at half the pace. I was pissed off.

As I crutched through the store with my pissed off attitude I asked myself what I had done to get well for the past 3 weeks.

Have I been doing my Qi Gong?
No. I've been cranky and resistant instead.

Have I been doing my Working In exercises?
No.
I started them in May. Did some in June, then my knee
hurt too much when I did them so I stopped all together
and haven't tried again since.
(today's video shows us how to Work In rather than Out)

Have I been creatively visualizing?
Eh. Sporadically.

Have I been taking my supplements?
Yes.

Have I been eating the most nourishing foods?
Mostly.
Lately I've been indulging in date cookies from the Arab market.
Refined flour and refined sugar are not healing foods.
But for the most part I'm on track.

Have I been using my essential oils and visualizing light coming into my body?
Yes.

Ok, so not horrible but not great.
The result?
My body is not horrible but not great.
There's more healing work to be done.
There's more crutch/wheelchair time to be done till I'm walking with ease.

My attitude can be better, more open, more ready to greet the world.
As a demonstration of that
the universe saw fit to send me a skittish kitten.

Mind you, I've never had a skittish kitten.
Since 1987 when I moved out of my parents' house the kittens I've rescued have all been outgoing or needy enough to be at my side constantly.
This little guy is different.
He's a hider.

He wouldn't eat unless I went into my bedroom closet to fetch him and put him right in front of his food. After he eats he runs right back into hiding.

For the past few days since I got him I've been grabbing him from the closet and bundling him into the blankets with me for love. Once he's swaddled-in he purrs and licks me.
I even got him to nap snuggled into my neck. But the moment I move or leave him he scoots back into the closet.

The other cats were scaring him with their hissing.
Gabriel hissed and swatted him.
This is normal when a new kitten is introduced but all my previous kittens just went about their kitten business after being swatted.
This little guy was traumatized and hid.

Not good.

So now my bathroom is a nursery.
He's closed off from the rest of the cats for now.
I'll have to work with him in isolation until he's more robust.

He has his own little litter pan, his own food and water and a nice small space to get used to.
Every time I go in there I bring a snuggling blanket so I can bundle him in for love.
I faux lick him (withmy chin using the same motion his mama would use to lick him) and kiss him till he purrs.
Then I put him by his food.
He eats well!
Every few bites he'll look over his shoulder at me to see what I'm doing then he goes back to eating. As soon as he's finished he scoots right back under the radiator.

Getting a kitten like this is no accident.

Our world is a reflection of ourselves.
This kitten is a reflection of how I've been feeling lately.
I've been wanting to hide out.

Today I'm one day away from the new semester.
I CAN'T hide out.
It's show time!

If I want this kitten to come around then I have to come around.
If I want him to be more worldly and fearless then I have to be worldly and fearless.

If loving him into life is what he needs then I guess I need to let
people love me into life.
I need to let people draw me out.

Good thing I'm the center of attention for a living...lol.
It's one of the perks (or hazards) of teaching.

Christian the kitten will come around
and so will I.

*Lisa's Video Pick of the Day*
"Speaking of suppressing your immune system, so does over-training. Less can do More, and More can do Less. Just a thought." - Paul Chek of the Chek Institute
Did I mention? Paul Chek is the man!!
Personal Trainer Vahdaneh Vahid
shows us how to Work In.
Working IN!
What a great concept!!
click here or click below