Thank God I landed my ass in a wheelchair

"...collecting inspiring stories about people’s transformations through challenging circumstances would immeasurably help twice over, not only to the people who reached an epiphany through telling their stories and getting to a place of gratitude, but also to the countless other people who would read these stories in the Thank God I…^® series."

No glow effect. No soft focus.
Just me starting to glow on my own.
It's been a while since I posted a pic of me
taken by me!

“If you can find a path
with no obstacles,
it probably doesn't lead anywhere.”
-Frank A. Clark

Thank God I landed my ass in this wheelchair.
It took me a while to be grateful.
I TRIED to be grateful.
I SAID I was grateful
but deep down I was forcing the gratitude in order to earn the grace to make my knee injury go away.
And because I'm karmically rigorous, there was no way that kind of bargaining would work.

Kinda like why the psychic healer could not heal my knee injury.
I'm sure his prayers helped me other ways.
For sure he helped me spiritually.
But the knee?
My higher self blocked the healing.
I needed the lessons from this injury more than I needed the relief from the pain.

One of the lessons was gratitude.
Not in a vague way but in a hard, specific way.

So far I'm learning to appreciate my friends.
Hey, I appreciated them before but not like I do now.
Before all this business with the knee I made sure to be self sufficient.
I thought of my friends as an option that I could live without if I had to.
Why?
Just in case they dumped me
or left me
or betrayed me
or I wanted to retreat into addictive solitude.

I didn't want to trust them because there was the chance that trust might be betrayed
This inability to TRUST the ones I loved made me set myself up to be independent (though I'm learning that I never really was independent).

Secondly but not second at all,
I needed to appreciate moving.

Yesterday I was looking at my messy car.
It needs to be vacuumed.
The car mats need to be washed.
Usually I do that in the Spring as part of the Spring cleaning.
This year?
This year I'm learning to accept my situation.
I'm learning to have less anxiety about things not getting done exactly the way I want to do them
AND
more importantly
I'm learning to appreciate the ability to move.

This year, as my adrenal fatigue persisted, I was dreading and procrastinating every task that involved movement.
That dread needed to be "cleaned up" twofold.
I needed to address my physical needs
AND
I needed to address my reluctance to do physical tasks.

I remember I asked God to make me a servant.
Conform me to God's will.
Oh, and make me WANT to exercise.
Make me want to move my body and take care of it.

BAM!

Landed my ass in a wheelchair.

Do I appreciate moving now??
You bet I do.

I LONG to clean out my car.
I WANT to put my own laundry away.
I WISH I could shop for myself.
I want to clean and cook and shop and workout and dance!

I needed this yank to attention.
I needed to be sat down
halted
stilled
(exactly what Vlad told me I needed...to just be...to sit still and learn to appreciate what I had...he said this injury knocked me on my butt for a reason).

Once this leg is healed things will be different, much different.

I will appreciate the ability to do chores, to walk, to shop, to clean.
And God willing, I'll be well enough to do all of it.

For now the term "this is how I roll" has taken on a whole new meaning!
lol

I'm learning to appreciate what I can do now, even in this condition.
I'm learning to appreciate what I had.
I'm learning to appreciate who I have in my life.

Thank God.

*Lisa's Video Pick of the Day*
Here's one of the storytellers from the "Thank God I..." book series.
Lori Dawn tells us that we can be thankful for things AS THEY HAPPEN rather than 10 years down the road.
click here or click below