we need each other

"You've Done it Before, You Can Do It Again:
When you're heading into a new situation,
recall what you've done in the past that's similar.
Even if it wasn't exactly the same,
knowing that you got through
a tough time before
will give you perspective..."


"Keep a Log:
Write down everything you are going through.
Next time you're facing a new challenge,
you can read your log
and see that you were probably
nervous about all the
wrong things."
- Dr. Joy Browne

It helps to re-read the things we've written.
If you're blogging your progress, whether it's a 'weight loss journey' or the uphill climb out of depression or whatever, go back and read your own writing.

It helps.

I'm worrying a lot less about the upcoming semester.
Why?
I'm looking back at what I've accomplished.
With LESS physical resources than I have now,
I've earned higher degrees,
attended graduate school by night,
taught by day,
led groups,
given talks,
kept house,
entertained,
worked out, etc.

I've been busy in the past.
This semester will be challenging, but do-able.
How do I know?
I've done it already, written about it, and lived to read the tale.

I've figured out some stuff, too.
I'm looking back at the first years of this blog when I'd include
'Movement for Motivation' exercises at the end of each post.
Those moves work PERFECTLY with my 5 minutes a day plan.

I don't have to re-invent the wheel every day.
I don't always have to take the hardest route.
I can take the well worn path, worn by me, work done in the past that I can benefit by in the present.

Sheesh.
I'm so reluctant to take help, I actually resist taking help from myself!

That's part of the perfectionism that I have to overcome.
Being able to take help, asking for help, acknowledging that we are relational beings who need each other, takes guts,
and practice.

Being needy is frowned upon.
Vulnerability is seen as weakness.
Why?

Maybe it's an American, independent, don't-rely-on-others, butch up and stand on your own two feet kinda attitude that keeps us from feeling OK when it comes to needing support from others.

I'm reluctant for a number of reasons.
I've been conditioned, like so many of us, to see myself as less of a person if I rely on people.

On this very blog, unkind critics have called me a "mooch" for letting my parents help me.
Unkind readers have told me to "get it together".
Former friends have levied these accusations against me as well.
Score a few for me because they are FORMER friends.
I had enough sense to distance myself from their poisonous criticism.

Remember, in life critics hold opinions and that's all they hold.
Critics don't speak the truth about us.
They speak opinions.
We can let the opinions in as true or reject them as false.

Truth is subjective.

Anyone who says things like,
"that's not just my opinion, it's the truth!!"
is probably an egomaniac of some sort.

What, like any of us has a monopoly on truth??

We have OPINIONS of what might be true.

Choose the opinions that empower you.
Let those opinions help you.
Opinions that make you feel like crap can (should) be discarded.

They're merely opinions after all.

*Lisa's Video Pick of the Day*
It kills me that they tout this guy's weight loss as being done
"without surgery"
and "just mind over matter"
and "determination"
as if the rest of us don't have determination.
Does it occur to any of the geniuses watching this that Chris Powell's
friendship is what saved this guy??
The 2o/20 folks even SAY it in this clip!
They talk about the "friendship" that saved David Smith's life.
Sure, determination and hard work were essential to his transformation, but
more so the love and support from someone who cared.
We need each other.
click here or click below